Panophobia

Fears

Words like this are Scarecrows thoughts and words like this are Jonathan's thoughts. Enjoy!

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Jonathan's POV

I could tell she was a bit taken aback by my question but she eventually laughed.

"The better question is what am I not afraid of." Ms. (L/n) said as I studied her.

This is gonna be good.

"Please go on." I said trying to hide a smirk.

"Well I have the common ones like fear of snakes, spiders, sharks, bees, insects with lots of legs, etc. I'm afraid of stupid things like the dark, thunder, lightning, needles, getting in any type of crash, drowning, burning to death, stuff like that. I'm also afraid of completely irrational things such as ghosts, monsters, and all that made up shit you hear as a child." Ms. (L/n) said as I scribbled away all of her many fears on my notepad.

I also noted that she lifted her legs from the ground and crossed them on the chair symbolizing that her fears were so great that simply thinking of them made her afraid.

"So I take it lights out yesterday was not a fun experience for you?" I asked making Ms. (L/n) smile lightly.

"Definitely not. I'm pathetic, I know. Honestly I feel like an idiot." Ms. (L/n) said looking at me then her lap.

"We all have something we fear, it's a simple fact of life. There is no need to be ashamed of being human." I said out of no where.

Why was I compassionate toward this girl? Did I feel bad for her? No, that couldn't be it.

I cleared my throat, sensing her uncomfortableness from mentioning all her fears. I quickly came up with a solution.

"On the opposite end, what do you enjoy?" I asked mentally cursing myself for becoming soft for this random patient and possible test subject.

Ms. (L/n) smiled lightly again whilst in thought.

"I like dogs, manatees, those little tea cup pigs, ice cream, reading, writing, movies, TV, my friends, my sister, and I love music." She said now smiling and looking over at me.

I nodded and took a few notes.

"I have two questions. One, why did you not say you liked your mother and father? And two, why did you only say you loved music?" I asked curiously.

"Well my parents sent me to this place so I can't really love them can I? I've never had a great relationship with either of them and if I'm being honest the only reason I'm fucked up is because of them." Ms. (L/n) stated.

I nodded and jotted down a shorter version of her previous sentence.

"Please elaborated." I said glancing at her.

"It's mostly my mother I suppose. She always makes me do things I don't want to and is annoying and never actually listens to me. Plus she sent me to social work which I hated. On the other hand my father and I can not spend more that 30 minutes alone without getting into an argument. And he just stood there silent as my mother ordered those men to take me away..." Ms. (L/n) said clearly in thought as I scribbled away.

I nodded a bit thinking of my own grandmother and her terrible actions.

"Well what about music?" I asked referring to my earlier question.

"Oh, well I just really love music I guess. It's gotten me through some tough stuff and there's always something for whatever mood I'm in." Ms. (L/n) said once again smiling lightly.

"I couldn't help but notice you said you hated social work yet you seem fine right now." I said making Ms. (L/n) chuckle.

"I was wondering the same thing. I suppose I've just never had a doctor like you before." Ms. (L/n) said looking over at me.

I tired not to smile at her words.

Oh come on, Jonny! That was the cheesiest shit I've ever heard!

Shut it, Crow.

"Could you tell me more about your reasons for hating social work?" I questioned.

"Well I really hate talking about my feelings. I don't know why, but I've always been like that. Plus I always feel like the doctor is trying to get into my mind and figure me out." Ms. (L/n) said as I began to write on the third page of my notepad.

It was interesting how for someone who doesn't like to talk about her feelings she's told me so much.

"I think that's a good place to stop for today. Do you have any questions?" I asked looking over at her after putting my pen and paper down.

"Are...are you going to make me get electro shock therapy?" Ms. (L/n) asked quietly looking down.

I chucked at her question. It was clear that she was afraid of getting electro shocked.

"I see no need at the moment." I said truthfully.

Ms. (L/n) seemed slightly unstable in the mental category but not enough to need electro shock. She also seemed quite relieved at my response to her question.

"Any other questions?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Um...just one. Can we ask for things? You know like books or an Ipod or a small nightlight of sorts." Ms. (L/n) asked and I tried not to smile at her innocence.

"If you behave and I feel I can trust you I suppose I could get you some of those things. And if you want to read there are some books in the social room, but they may not be to your liking. However, the books must remain there so you can not take them back to your cell." I pointed out.

"O-Okay, thanks." Ms. (L/n) stuttered making me look down in an attempt to hide the small smile on my face.

"Our next appointment will be on Monday seeing as I am off over the weekend." I explained and Ms. (L/n) nodded. "The guards will see you out."

I pressed the button under my desk signaling to the guards that I was done with the session.

The guards soon came in and hoisted her out of the seat and dragged her to the door.

Right before my office door closed Ms. (L/n) glanced at me making me smile again.

God, Jonny! It's like you're in love! You haven't smiled this much since we killed Granny. Ah, fond memories. Anyway, that girl would be the PERFECT little lab rat! She's afraid of everything!

Don't you think I've thought of that already?

I know you've thought of that! I'm in your mind remember? That being said I also know you're hesitant and blinded by your feelings for that pathetic girl!

I took a deep breath and tried not to become enraged by Scarecrow.

I am not blinded by anything. She is a patient and possible test subject. I have no feelings for her what so ever.

If you're not blinded by feelings of affection then why did you get upset when I said she was pathetic?

I refuse to do this right now, Crow. Goodbye.

I sighed and tuned Scarecrow out...for now.

I thought about what Crow had said knowing he was right.

Why did I like her? Why did she make me smile? How did she even make me smile?

I thought of how she glanced back at me before the door closed. I wonder why she did so.

I sat for a while contemplating what to do.

I finally decided I'd experiment on her seeing that she was the most perfect test subject I could ask for.

I sighed once more before continuing with my workday.