It's a little sad, perhaps because it was posted during the ending of EDKV.
It was a rainy day. He looked through the window of his car, the drops glistening on the bare ground. His fingers traced the trail of the drop which lingered on the window before drifting into oblivion his eyes meeting his reflection and for once, his eyes were cast down, realising that he did not like what he saw, he did not like the man who stared back at him, almost intimidating him, as if he was able to read the confined rooms of his tormented soul.
"You're quite quiet Mate. You haven't said a word since the beginning of our journey."
"There's so much to say. Too much to say." A sigh left his lips as his head banged against his seat.
I could clearly see that the small stroll he had taken in the little wood had somewhat shaken him.
He was silent since the time we had taken back the road, yet on his face laid an untouchable expression of serenity, as if nothing could touch him, neither the tempestuous weather nor the old music, he loved humming to, playing in a broken record.
Tell me, I'd like to hear you out.
The pitter patter of the rain against the window seemed to be as curious as me, almost urging him to disclose all his secrets. I wanted to reach the depth of this serenity which only the effects could be seen. He seemed at peace and God knows it has been years since a smile has even grazed the poor boy's face.
"You really want to know, don't you?" He kept looking outside as streetlights after streetlights passed by, the vast roads were empty, there was no sign of life, an echo to the void of his heart, which had stayed uninhabited for too long now.
"Go on, tell me!" I felt like an impatient child waiting for a candy on Christmas day, but having him opening himself was no less than a gift, so many years of friendship and yet I was not able to find the key to this safe that is my friend.
"I had a dream!"
A dream, in broad daylight? I have known this boy since the time he was a toddler, since he was a knee-high to a grasshopper. I have seen all of him, I have seen the little dreamer in him caged into life's obstacles, the transition from the fun-loving, full of life guy he used to be to this man who lives in a shell, on his own, whom life's hardships had snatched away his innocence.
While the latter was the pride of the nation, a mature young man climbing the ladder of success, the former was as free as the breeze of the spring, he would engrave himself in people's mind, like the lyrics of their favorite song. So hearing him, talking about dreams that too in broad daylight was unsettling.
"Yes, a dream. Or simply a fragment of my imagination, an illusion. A dream too beautiful to be true." I was flabbergasted. Melancholy could be perceived in his words, as if speaking of a distant memory, forgotten and erased.
"You know, it was just a moment where I was actually alive and not merely breathing. I closed my eyes and breathed with full lungs, I felt no less than a new born, against the warm chest of his mother. And for a moment her scent was all over the place, it's like the smell of the mud after it rains, lingering on my clothes, troubling my senses, like she always did. I opened my eyes and she was in front of me clad in a white dress, looking absolutly breathtaking, like always but something looked different she had a smile on her face but the spark of her eyes was missing, she looked...broken, exactly like I left her, I ran towards her to engulf her in my arms, it had been so long and yet it felt like old times. Her head buried into my chest, her tiny arms around me, it was perfect.
And then she was gone." His voice cracked at the end of his sentence, his jaw and fists clenched, he was fighting the tears.
"Mate I- "
"I wanted it so bad. I wanted her for me. I wanted to be the one to wake up next to her every morning, to play with her hair, to hear her soft laughter, to hold her hand through difficult times. To be the last face she sees before sleeping. To hold her close. To have long strolls with her. To roam the world around with her by my side. To grow old with her. To talk all night about our secrets, ours scars, our fears, about us, she would tell me a little bit about herself and I would bare myself in front of her. I wanted all of it and now it seems all wrong because she belongs to someone else. And I am alone. Again.
You were right, it was just the matter of a wake up call and it was finished. Over."
He left an humorless chuckle as some tears cascaded through his stubble.
"You were right, I was a fool, I was naive and it made me what I am today. The most successful entrepeneur of the year, I can buy anything I want, I could get all the luxury of the world but the void in my heart will never cease to grow with time.
That's why dreaming is better when you sleep because the next day it's all gone, all forgotten. It's when you step your foot into the reality with a bunch of those dreams made of glass that's when it hurts. When they get scattered on the floor, everyone stomping their feet on them, that's when it hurts. The best part is that they don't even know that it's your heart that they are gently crushing under their branded shoes and you stay behind trying to pick up the pieces but in vain.
People like me are fated to wander here and there, in search of a home, of tranquillity, perhaps that's the price for breaking someone's heart. If only I could go back in time and have another chance. Just one last time."He wiped away the remaining tears, sighing.
"Enough of talking ! I will take a small nap who knows I might be lucky and she will come to meet me in my dreams."
He winked at me, before leaning towards the window and closing his eyes. My eyes were riveted on the highway but I was disturbed, his words were playing again and again in my head. "Dreaming it's better when you are asleep it hurts less." Sitting behind the wheel, amidst the roaring of the sky and the soft drizzle, I understood that the child in him was lost. He won't dream again.
