18 Weeks

Secrets/ Chapter 6

I just got back from the insane asylum and for the next 24 hours I slept. It was a rough 3 days I had spent. My parents set strict rules for me. I hated being at my parents house. It was hell. My dad was always at work and it felt like my mom made it her personal goal to make me cry. For example, she would make me cook her dinner or clean the house then complain about what a terrible job I did. My parents and I had a long discussion and they wanted me to have an abortion. I was not very far along and it wasn't illegal, but I declined. So my mom went through OB/GYNs to go see and made my first appointment. It was the end of February and it was the day of my first OB appointment. I was nervous and exited. The nurse called us in and I decided to take my mom in with me. She first swabbed me for pap smear/STD testing, then she pulled out what looked like a long stick and put it inside my vagina. The doctor told me it was called a vaginal probe. Its used to detect a embryo at early pregnancy ultrasound. The doctor confirmed I was about 9 weeks along. She set me a due date of September 27th 2012. When I heard the heartbeat my eyes swelled up with tears. It was a good and strong heartbeat. My parents had also set up an out patient therapy group. My mom dropped me off at the the house so she could go to work. Once I was alone inside I had taken a picture from my phone of the ultrasound and sent it to all my friends. I was really awed to see that a living being was inside of me. A few days later my parents had came in to talk to me and told me that the following week a van would me picking me up to take me to the outpatient therapy group. The following week arrived and I was shy and not certain of the group. The group instructors name was Ms. Walker. She was an older lady with a happy disposition and a great attitude. I started feeling welcome and safe at the group. After group sessions were over and before my parents would pick me up I would use their phone which in my luck were free at anytime, I would call Jason because I was forbidden to talk to him at the house. I wasn't even allowed to use my cell phone without my parents hovering over my shoulder. We would talk after every session, and sessions lasted Mondays through Friday from 8 am to 4 pm. During the sessions we would talk about personal trial and errors and ways to fix them. We would practice relaxing techniques and ways to channel positive energy. My favorite part of the session was the lunch. For some odd reason I loved the sandwiches or whatever was for lunch. If there was any extras the group would let me take them, plus I hated my moms cooking and always had. The most memorable person I had met was a woman named Angel who was around my age. Her cousin died of AIDS and was very close, but she had come late to the group that day. She was pardoned and did not get chastised for her tardiness. We spent the day grieving with her. We prayed for her and her cousin. She talked about fond memories and times with her. It was a great session and Im glad we could all be there for her at her time of need. Among Angel there was also other great group members. I can't remember all their names, but they all had kind words to say and were all very generous. to me. There was several different groups depending on your status. I observed the other groups and did not like how they operated. I was glad to be in a calming friendly group. A few days later a staff member from another group called me out in the hallway and said that I was going to be placed in a different group. I was horrified. I did not want to go into another group, I loved the group I was already in. The next day instead of joining Ms. Walkers group. I joined a group with 3 extra staff members. The group was awful. The staff was extremely rude and the rules of the group were ridiculous. For example, At my old group I was allowed to eat anytime I wanted. I even brought snacks from home and that was OK. I was allowed to eat any of the extras that were left. In this group I was not allowed to bring snacks from home. Only 10 minutes were allowed for lunch time. No extras were allowed to be taken, and absolutely NO EATING DURING SESSIONS! Not knowing the rules at first I wasn't able to finish my grilled cheese during lunch in time so I proceeded to eat during session. And for breaking the rules I received a loud mouthed staff member in my face telling me I wasn't worth the shit that came out of his ass. After that harsh intervention I just stared at the wall, blocking out then rest of the session. The next day I arrived at the same group very gloomy. I hated that group. The members of the group posed completely different than the ones in Ms Walkers group. These people were angry and harsh in their words. The person I remember the most was Carla. She looked extremely young. She looked innocent with her long blonde hair in a pony tail with thick round glasses. She was 16 she opened up with me and told me she lost her virginity at age 12. I told her I was expecting and she smiled and said I was very lucky. She had said that because she explained that when she was 15 she got pregnant and the baby had 5 potential fathers and she didn't know who it was. In a rage her father forced her into an abortion. After her explaining the story she told me to hush and then she left the room. The group continued and the rest of the day with activities where you can win prizes. I won a hoola hoop contest and won a bag of popcorn. That was the highlight of my day. At the end of the session Ms Walker came in and requested that she speak with me. I wondered what the hassle was. She explained that I was wrongly placed. The group that I had been placed in was for the more mentally disturbed. Those people needed a strict environment and self discipline. That would explain why they were so harsh. I was immediately placed back in the group I was originally in. I was happy to be placed back I had only spent a day and half in that group and I was ecstatic to leave. The next day I walked into Ms Walkers group and greeted with smiles. The next two days we did our daily routine. After class I had made my call to Jason and he said he would be back into town by Friday night. That was in two days!!!! Jason already knew my situation with my parents strict rules. They didn't even know we were dating. We made a plan for him to come by my house on Friday at 7 pm. I had a plan set to get out of the outpatient therapy group and my parents house forever. The next two days I waited patiently for Friday to arrive. On Friday afternoon after session I called Jason and confirmed our visit. Later that night I sat on the couch waiting for Jason to knock on the door. I was nervous because I didn't tell my parents he was coming, I knew for a fact that they would have me call him and cancel the visit. Around 7:15 the door bell rang my heart jumped. Before my mom could even stand up I was rushing to the door. I opened it and there stood Jason. He grew taller and got more handsome than I remember in highschool. He was still dressed in his military attire. and stood close to the front entrance to avoid the pouring rain. My mom was not pleased. She looked at him and Jason introduced himself. At that point I said to mom, "Look, we've been dating since February and he wants to take me out to dinner." "Absolutely not!" my mother had angrily replied. I was devastated. Jason tried to convince my my mom to take me just to dinner and have me back right after. Her answer still stayed the same. So I had just asked to give Jason and I a moment. My mother gave us two minutes. Jason was not allowed in the house so we were made to stand out in the rain. For the next two minutes we made out then I had asked if I could stay with him. I went back inside and told my mom what was going on. She was furious. She ran in her room and called my dad. I ran upstairs to pack only necessities because I was in a hurry. I headed downstairs with my sister who was nagging me about leaving with a man. My mom came out of her room at the same time and handed me the phone. My dad seemed way calmer and told me that I was over 18 and that if this is what I wanted then I should go ahead. I then said my goodbyes and headed off with Jason.