FINGERTIPS ║ Larry Stylinson

3 ║ Just Try

July 6th

Louis woke up slowly, in his own bed this time. He had spent about a whole week at Tamara's house and he was pretty glad to be finally home. He ran his hands through his hair and over his face, he felt so tired. He pressed the pillow against his face and sighed loudly. He got up slowly and tripped over something hard that was laying on the ground near his bed, hurting his toes badly, almost falling on the floor he mumbled something to himself before grabbing the empty beer bottle dying on the floor. He sat on his bed, rubbing his forehead while looking at the empty bottle. He wanted to take it back, taking all of these mistakes back, why did he have to end up like that? His heart was beating hard, he felt his eyes filling with hot tears but he retained them from falling all over his face. He couldn't cry. He was strong. No, he was afraid, afraid of everything and it made him feel so weak. He couldn't sleep, what if nightmares filled his broken mind, what if he wakes up sweaty and scared, crying like a baby, once again. If alcohol was helping him so why not? He never hurt someone because he was drunk.
But he was tired, tired of lying to everyone. But he couldn't, he couldn't admit how he truly felt. He never did that, he never admitted to anyone how weak he felt sometimes. His thoughts got cut off by a loud knock on the door, he made the bottle roll under his bed, put a sweatshirt and pair of sweatpants on and opened the door, his little sister smiled at him immediately.

"Lou, mum said breakfast was ready!"
"I'm coming Lottie." He nodded slowly.

He watched her walking away and he closed the door behind him before walking to the stairs and going to the kitchen. Around the huge table were all his family. Dan and his mum were at the opposite sides with the babies, Félicité, Lottie and Daisy were sitting together on the right while Phoebe was waiting for him on the left, a huge plate full of pancakes on the centre.

"Hi baby!" exclaimed his mother.

He greeted her with a smile and a quick hug, then he waved to the rest of the family and sat next to Phoebe. She smiled to him and they started eating.

"So how was your week with Tamy, Lou?" Fizzy asked.

Every eyes met his and he raised an eyebrow. What were they excepting him to say? It was a normal week.

"Great?" he said, unsure of what to say.

His mum smiled and stroked his hand slowly, as months and years went by Jay had learnt how to like Tamara and he was glade she did. Tamara was his first real girlfriend, and they were dating for almost 2 years now. He loved her, truly, but these last days, he was struggling to even show her his love. It was hard he knew how much he loved her but he couldn't really tell her anymore, he didn't know why, he just couldn't. He tried though, there was just something in his soul making things harder. But he didn't know what exactly.

"Oh, Louis!" his step-father exclaimed after few minutes of silence.

He looked up from his plate and smiled a bit. It was probably fake but who could know, Louis was such an incredible actor.

"We have new neighbours!" he said with a huge smile.

Louis shrugged but smiled, he didn't really care about his neighbours, that's not like they were celebrities or killer or anything. None of his neighbours were really nice to his family, when they moved in, no one even greeted them. They barely knew who lived next to them. Normal people in a normal town, nothing special.

"I talked with a woman, she's nice and she has a son, about your age Louis!" Jay added.

He looked at her. Oh, so that was probably why these neighbours seemed so interesting, because he could have a new friend. Jay loved the fact that Louis was a sociable boy, he made friends easily but she wasn't a big fan of Zayn. Louis had never done anything wrong since he was hanging out with him though, it was probably all of his tattoos that were making her a bit reluctant.