FINGERTIPS ║ Larry Stylinson

10 ║ Darkness

July 14th

When Louis' parents came home around 8pm, they insisted that Harry would stay a bit longer, just to talk. So Louis left Harry in the living room, he was surrounded by the Tomlinson family and he could hear their questions from the kitchen where he was doing the dishes. His brain couldn't manage to work properly. Too many thoughts were going through his mind and it made it hard to breathe. He had to breathe in deeply and stop for a second, holding the towel so tight against the sink that his knuckles turned white. He couldn't make any sorting among his countless thoughts and that was driving him crazy. He stood up straight when his sister entered the room, she was holding the phone he hadn't even heard ring. She handed him the phone, biting on her nail and looking down.

"What?" he asked, a bit worried.

She sighed, letting go of her hand and looked up to her brother.

"It's Tamara, she's really mad..." Félicité said, pinching her lips together.

Louis looked down as he took the phone and placed it against his ear, sighing silently. He didn't want to talk to her, at all. To be honest, it was the last thing he wanted to do, hearing her complain. She would probably list all the bad things he had done those last days and how bad he was disappointing her. It would be ridiculous but he would shut up and listen, say sorry now and then and even though he wouldn't want it to happen, he would tell her to forgive him, no matter if there wasn't much to forgive in all honestly.

"Louis!" she spat, her voice full of anger. "Why didn't you answer any of my texts?!"

Louis touched his temples and massaged them gently, he took a look at his sister, still standing in front of him. When he closed his eyes and shook his head, she understood he needed to be alone and walked away, she knew Tamara, and even though all of the family loved her so badly, she didn't.

"Hi babe..." he sighed.

When she started to ramble about how she wished he was more responsible, he wanted to throw the phone through the room and let it break against the wall.

"You shouldn't have left like that."
I had to.
"You need to be more mature."
I am not the childish one in this relationship.
"You have to think a bit about others."
I do.
"Why are you always like that?"
Like what?
"In this selfish society, you need to open your eyes and see what's wrong around you and take care of others!"

It was too much. Too much for him to keep silent. Too much for him to only answer in his mind. Too much for him to stay there, listening to someone who was supposed to love him but who was only dissing him.

"Shut up! Please, just shut up Tamy'! In this so selfish society, you're one of the most selfish person I've ever met, you don't care about others! You act like you are always so perfect, like you're open minded and selfless. But you are not! You see no further than the end of your nose! You seem like the only person that matters to you. And that is wrong! You can't stop but argument on whatever I do, and you feel the need to always give your opinion on how I look, no matter if I like the way I look. The image that I give is supposed to be so perfect so you can be proud, but I am not perfect Tamy'! I just want to be myself! But you won't leave me, I struggle to go through your comment with strength like society tell us men are supposed to. But you take my strength away! I never drop enough pounds, I never get good enough grades, I never dress good enough. I am never enough for who you want me to be, and that's maybe because I am not the one for you Tamara! I tried but you're killing me."

He didn't notice his mum and sisters were now standing at the entrance of the kitchen. His mum was looking at him, a hand other her heart and wide eyes. Félicité and Lottie were exchanging looks now and then, knowing perfectly what was going on. He was breaking down. He was falling apart. In the living room, there were only Dan and Harry left after Dan had sent the twins in their rooms. Harry was scratching his face, he wanted to go away, leave the place, he felt so uncomfortable and the silence Dan gave him didn't make it any easier. He was trying not to listen to Louis' broken voice screaming from the kitchen, but he couldn't help it. It was heart breaking, he could hear Louis was about to cry, or maybe he was already crying. He wasn't sure, but it was awful to listen to.