The Duke's Kamasutra

London

I look onto the grave and hide my face behind my hands. Desperation floods my mood. Four months on that ship, four months of mourning my fathers death back in Bombay. Four months of hopelessness and hope to find a new home with my aunt. And now she is dead as well, killed in an accident two weeks before my ship docked at the port.

And my father was to good a man to foster corruption in his business operations, so he left me with nothing but the money to pay the passage. And his little library. I did not have the heart to sell his books as they gave me solace in my darkest hours, healing my soul step by step. Now they rest in the port's storehouse as my aunt rests deep underground in her silent grave, but not as deep as my disastrious life feels at the moment, buried without hope for a foreseeable future.

„I am so sorry for you". I feel a hand of comfort come to rest upon my shoulder. My cousin's feelings are still raw from the burial the week before last, her shaking voice gives her away. „You are always welcome in our home. Mother would have wanted that. It will be a little cramped when I give birth to our child but we'll manage. Charles has a steady income as a solicitor now. He does very well in his uncle's company."

„Thank you, Ada" I reply. I am exhausted, body and soul. Four months of sea sickness and insecurity will do that to you. We return to our hired carriage, the coachman opening the door for us. I let myself fall into the seat, sighing. „What shall I do? What will become of me?"

„Maybe marriage, Elinor? You are young and well educated. In fact, I know not even one man with your knowledge of languages. Your mothers french, your Hindi. You read Latin, Greek and even Sanskrit. Charles knows some very nice unwed men in trading business who would be lucky to have you. Or a parish priest for that."

My temper boils up and I pull my sleeves back, showing my burnt skin on my arms. „Look at me, Ada! Who would want a scarred woman like me? Who, Ada! The whole last summer I endured the pitying glances of my friends. I saw the men averting their eyes from those disgusting scars on my hand and they never saw my arm!"

„Elinor, they are barely visible now! Not every man is so shallow as to examine only the surface."

„But they do, Ada, they did it the last two years. I am so tired of it and I am frightened of the cage a marriage will put me in. What if I never find an accord with my husband? What if he is of a dull mind? You know how I detest stupid men and my sharp tongue would be my undoing! The marriage market is just not for me, especially not after Deepak.

„Could you imagine yourself as a governess then? You learnt the piano and the indian lute, didn't you? You learnt everything that a woman in society should know! And you love to teach, you wrote me how you liked to teach" Ada said breathlessly. „I will ask Charles, he works for some peers, maybe he knows of an open position."

„Thank you, Ada" I responded sadly. „Thank you for your support all these years".

„No! Thank you, Elinor. I always loved to read your letters, learning what was happening half way around the world, to hear what a normal girl would never hear. Writing to you was always a pleasure, Elinor. You let me take part of a world I would never have experienced in my small little world. I am thankful for all your experiences, all the wonders you showed me through your eyes. Please never forget that your stories enlighten the world! Or at least they enlightened my mind everytime I had the privilege to reed your letters."

I smile and thankfully squeeze Ada's hand. At least I have some friends left in this world.

Thank you very much for reading!

If you liked this chapter, please vote for it or leave a comment! I am happy with any recognition but would be thrilled if you would leave me clues to what you liked the most.

Any new read spurs me to continue this exciting search for sensuality.

Lavinia Perla