Keeping Him In The Dark #Wattys2015

Chapter 15

Tossing and turning all night I couldn't sleep. Nathaniel was a ruthless man and would take and take until given what he wanted. I shuddered at the thought. I barely had enough money as it was without having to worry about law fees as well. Many people would say that changing her name to Carrington is a small change and if it meant keeping your daughter you should do it but those people aren't dying. Willow being a Parker is the only part I have left for her to remember me by. Closing my eyes and turning on my side the constant turning of different thoughts hurt my head.

Walking through into the kitchen it had been a week since I had seen Nathaniel. Normally it was faith who came and collected willow. Today was the first day of chemo. Grasping the handle of the kettle and raising it to the water to be filled my shaking hands wouldn't stay still. Pulling myself together i went into my room to get changed. Grasping a warm blue jumper and a pair of jeans yanking them over my head and practicing my fake smile in the mirror. I grimaced. If I couldn't believe myself who else would. The dark circles around my eyes told it all.

A loud knock on the door startled me. Walking towards the door willows things in one hand and willows small hand in the other we slowly opened the door expecting faith to be there on the otherside.

"Please tell Nathaniel.. that I won't be able to "

Cut off by the sound of deep laughter and a voice overshadowing my own.

"Tell me yourself" he spoke. Grasping willows hand and pulling her things out of my own two hands. Our fingers barely touching. But still sending sparks through the tips.

" As I was saying willow can stay at yours tonight, I'm meeting up with an old friend" I lied. I didn't want him to know anything about my personal life.

His brows furrowed as he looked intently into my eyes and down to my feet and up again as if inspecting me.

"Why are you lying Adrianne?". He spoke sternly as if I was five again being told off for telling lies.

" I'll collect willow tomorrow afternoon". Hiding how his words effected me.

"I know when your lying Adrianne"

stepping closer towards me making me step back so I was pressed against the door frame.

"What so we sleep together once and you think you know me. Give me a break. I don't need your permission to see some friends Nathaniel" I screamed. Kissing willow and slamming the door shut.

He is such an infuriating man!

I swore at myself for letting him affect me like that. Placing my hat and scarf on and pulling on my jacket I stormed out of the apartment and off to the hospital.

Gearing up the car and driving along the road. I felt nauseas, as if this one moment may be the end of life as I knew it.

*************

A few hours later I arrived at the supermarket back from the hospital. The shaking in my hands still there not stopping. Pushing the shopping cart around the large shop. I picked up various different things. A few notebooks, colouring stuff and some large cardboard boxes. Plenty people smiled passing me as they carried on with their shopping. Looking down, metal hair shearers caught my eyes . Grabbing them quickly placing them inside my cart and walking quickly away.

Getting all the basic shopping done I wandered out of the shop.

Placing them in my car I drove home. Eyes burning from the realisation of me having cancer and soon having to use those shearers I bought. Taking a quick turn I headed off to get the one thing I knew would keep Nathaniel off my back.. Grasping a few hairs from a brush and a piece of used chewing gum Nathaniel had put in a wrapper and left in my car. I headed straight there. Not once stopping.

***********

Soaking in the hot bath I thought to myself is this life really for me.

Did I really want to spend the rest of my counted days living under Nathaniel's rules.

No and that's why when the results came everything would fall into place. I hoped.