Please Find This

Winter.

Come on baby, hurt my feelings, I crave the pain, I miss my demons. Laying beside you reminds me of winter, cold fingertips trailing up my sides. No love, just lust. Love so cold that I swear I can see my breath, maybe it's your cigarette smoke. This bed feels so empty and I never know when I'm alone. Loud creeks from wooden floorboards, dead memories of us trailing up and down the halls. I'm not the girl that's in your picture frames, nor am I the girl that was once resided in your heart. Distant screams from past arguments still hang loosely against the walls.
          It's been months and I still wake up screaming your name. It's been months and I still see you everywhere I go. It's been months and many seasons have passed. It's been months and nothing has changed. It's been months and you're still I want. It's been months and you still don't feel the same. These walls will grow weary and eventually you won't exist here anymore. These walls won't still be standing for you to drunkly lean against, no floors for me to drag myself against, no more blood spit into sinks. Although it's been months, my love, I still wake up with blood covering the bed, dirt under my nails, and grass in my hair.
          Winter has came and gone and I swear to God the snow whispered your name. A snowflake fell on my cheek, it felt a lot like your hand; just much smaller and not as aggressive. I would say you remind me of snow, but darling, how do I say that when snow is pale and you are sun kissed? How do I say that when snow is gentle and you are not? You are not snow, even though your heart is ice and coldness runs through your veins.
          Winter has came and gone again, and I swear they still whisper your name.
|| s.w ||