Please Find This

Do You Love Me?

          "Do you love me?"  You said as you gazed into my eyes and softly spoke. A hint of hope glimmered in your eyes as I was reluctant to speak; I stared at the floor. I stared at the floors of this apartment, the place we once called home; now, merely just an empty space.
          "Do you love me?" You repeated, only this time with a hint of sadness in your voice. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes tightly, still facing the floor. I feel your soft fingers cup my chin as you raise my head up and again repeat your question. "Do you love me?"
When no answer was given to you, you dropped my jaw as if I had just burned you. Emerald eyes stared at me but slowly trailed away with a broken heart on your sleeve. I wanted to reach out and touch your arm, I wanted to tell you that I used to be obsessed with your smile and addicted to your happiness. I wanted to scream and let you know that it's not you or anything you didn't do or couldn't do. This was all on me.
I had fallen out of love with the girl I once promised the world to. I had no courage to say this; I was weak. I hoped my silence would suffice as an answer.
"Did you ever love me, E?" I looked at the small girl in front of me. The girl who held galaxies in her emerald eyes and constellations upon her cheeks that told stories of her past. My eyes softened as the rested upon her, she was purely beautiful but I just couldn't give her everything she deserved.
"No," I softly began, "I do not love you, not anymore. Please do not take this as your fault cause you did nothing wrong. I cannot give you everything you deserve, my love - and I truly apologize. Did I love you? Yes. More than all the stars in the night sky."
         Her whole being shook and I couldn't do anything but watch. I knew this was wrong but it was wrong either way. So I did the only thing I could even fathom as "right" in the scenario; I left.  I gently cupped her cheek one last time as I placed a kiss to her forehead, then I turned on my heel and walked. Not my normal walk, this was not me, I kept my head low and walked in shame. I had broken the girl who once meant everything to me but it's better to go now before she ends up hurt worse.
I left.
I left with her words repeating in my head, "do you love me?"
Oh, my love.
|| s.w ||