Burning Brighter Than The Stars (Jalex)

Chapter 5

The first thing I see when I wake up is a blinding white light which gives me a headache and I close my eyes so I don't go blind. I open my eyes slower this time and look around at my surroundings and notice i'm in a hospital room. I try to move but everything hurts so I give up.

"Nice to see you alive." I look over and see Tom looking at me with a smile. I try to smile back but even that hurts. 

"Where's Mabel and Charlotte?" I ask noticing they aren't in the room with us.

"Emma's mom is watching them so I could come get you" He explains. Here I go screwing up things again. I get mad at myself so I clench my fist and my nails dig into my skin. I start to calm down once I feel the pain in my hands.

"Mr. Gaskarth?" Tom and I look to the door and see a doctor walk in holding my chart. 

"What's the damage?" Tom asks standing up on one side of me while the doctor stands on the other side across from him. 

"Well you will have quite a few bruises  once you heal and all together you needed around fifty stitches to fix the cuts on your body. You have a sprained wrist and a minor concussion. We also found a cracked rib in your chest x-rays so I will write you a slip to get you out of gym for the next two weeks to give the rib and the rest of you time to heal. I want you to take it easy for the next few days okay?" I nod and the doctor gives me a small smile.

"He can leave as soon as you fill out the paperwork" The doctor says as he hands Tom the papers in his hands. Tom takes them and writes some stuff down and hands the clipboard back to the doctor. The doctor tells us to take it easy and then he leaves leaving Tom and I alone. He helps me up and out of the bed but I tell him i'm fine to walk to the car on my own without his help. 

When we get home we go inside and I sit at the table while Tom gets me pain medication and a glass of water.

"Who did this?" He asks sitting down next to me handing me two advil and a glass of water.

"I don't know" I respond taking the pills but he doesn't look convinced of my answer.

"Please don't lie to me" He says getting slightly angry.

"I'm not lying to you I honestly don't know who they are" I say raising my voice. Tom slams his fist down on the table and I'm shocked at his sudden burst of anger. He stands up and walks to the kitchen counter and leans against it.

"Dammit Alex! I'm just trying to help you, Why won't you let me help you?!" He yells at me and I feel the anger bubbling up inside me.

"Because I never asked for it! I never asked for any of this!" I yell before storming up to my room. When I walk in my room I lock the door and go straight to my bathroom and lock that door too. I go through the medicine cabinet to try and find my blade. When I find it I I close the cabinet door and look at myself in the mirror. I then take off my shirt and put the blade to my lower stomach.

I'm broken 

Cut.

I'm a waste of space

Cut.

I'm the reason that dad left

Cut.

I'm the reason mom's not here

Cut.

I'm a screw up

Cut.

When i'm finished I set the blade down on the sink and sit down leaning against the wall as I cry on my bathroom floor. After a few moments I put my shirt back on and I go back into my room to find a jacket. I then run downstairs and out the front door hearing Tom yell my name but I don't turn around. I run until I get to the park that Mabel and Charlotte love so much and I instantly feel better. My body starts to hurt again but the memories of us playing tag and hide and seek comfort me as I walk over to the swings and sit on one. I sit here and swing for a little while taking in the cold fresh air when I hear someone walk up to me and sit on the swing next to me. I look over to see Jack next to me which surprises me.

"What are you doing here" I ask him and he shrugs his shoulders.

"I usually go for a walk or run after school to clear my head. Are you okay? You got quite a beating today" He says and I nod.

"Physically i'll be fine but I don't know about mentally" I say back and Jack just remains quiet for a moment.

"Hey do you want to come over to my house for a while. We can work on our english project or just hang out. It's warmer than hanging out here and my mom won't be home for a while. What do you say?" He asks and I smile. It hurts me to say this but maybe all I need is some time away from my family. I nod and we get up and I follow Jack as we walk down an unfamiliar street. 

We make small talk for awhile and I can't help but feel like this could be a mistake. I like Jack a lot but I don't know him that well. He's probably only being friends with me to use me for something but what? He'll probably leave me like Zack did once he figures out how broken I am. Everyone leaves me like my parents and Zack. I can't trust anyone. But what if our friendship turns out to be real. Why am I even questioning this Jack has been nothing but nice to me, But so was Zack. No. Jack is nothing like Zack, Right?