"You look fatter."
"Stop eating."
"Lose some weight."
"Don't be stupid."
"You're an idiot."
"Whale."
All of these hurt. All of it. And the worst part is she knows it. She knows how much it hurts. I just want to cry. A mother is never supposed to say these things. Aren't moms supposed to love you unconditionally? Aren't they supposed to bring you up instead of bringing you down? I thought a mothers love never fades? Isn't it supposed to be endless? It all hurts deeply. Each remark is like a stab to the heart. Each remark is one more piece of me fading away. I want to forgive her but it's hard when she's constantly hating me. So I lie awake crying at night, while she's asleep peacefully.
I'm trying okay? I'm really trying. I skip meals so she can stop commenting on my body. I wish I was prettier. If I was better then she would leave me alone. But I'm never enough for her. Never pretty enough. Smart enough. Nice enough. Stylish enough. I'm just never enough for her.
And I wonder if she's aware of how she's slowly killing me.
YOU ARE READING
Delicate Meanings
PoezjaEverything written by yours truly. - I'm just going through some shit trying to get through it all alive. "Nobody's perfect" but they always expect you to be.
