Safe?

Chapter 14

I was having lunch with Matt Bellamy in my ears at my usual spot, when a shadow fell upon me. I looked up, and saw that it was Luke.

He put his tray in front of where I was sitting and sat down without a word.

I took one of the earbuds off.

“What’s up?”

He took a bite of his pizza slice and chewed for what seemed to last forever, before answering me.

“I’m worried about Steve…”

“Me too…” I muttered.

“What do you think is wrong with him?” He sounded desperate.

“I have a theory but it’s more a hunch than anything else…” I started.

“What is it?” His cerulean eyes were full of hope.

“Well, I reckon he’s fallen for a guy…” He frowned.

“And?!” He said, incredulous.

“And he’s so convinced that it’s bound to fail that he’s chosen to have a very private pity party… Hence his kicking me out, and his current six feet long face…” I explained. “But like I said, it’s only a hunch…”

“Okay…” He blew out a breath. “So what do we do?” He asked.

“There’s no we, Luke!” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Steven’s been pretty clear about that.”

“Since when do you care about what people say or think?!” He snapped.

“It’s different here, and you know it!” I cried out.

“How is it different, though?!” He interjected. “He’s not going to hurt you more than he already has, is he?!”

I had to admit that he had a point.

“I won’t make any difference, though…” I pointed out sadly. “The only thing that could help him would be to get him to talk and I’m pretty sure he’s not going to pour his heart out to me after what he threw in my face yesterday…”

“It won’t hurt to try, will it?” Luke answered softly.

“I suppose…” I sighed. “When do you want to do it?” I inquired.

“My parents are going away for the weekend, so tonight, tomorrow, whenever we get the chance, really…” His relief was hard to miss.

I nodded and took a bite of my sandwich.

“Listen Lily, don’t be too hard on Jay…” I didn’t let him finish.

“Luke, please, don’t…” I shook my head. “Last night was a mistake…” I took a deep breath to make sure my voice didn’t break. “I shouldn’t have let him sleep next to me…” I closed my eyes to beg the tears to stay away. “He’d just fucked Mandy Mason, Luke!”

“I know, Lily, I know…” He lifted his arm across the table to wipe the tears that were now streaking my cheeks.

“He’s got too much hold on me already…“ I was full on crying now. “One touch and I melt…” I hiccupped. “Look at me, Luke!” I shouted.

He came to sit next to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.

“Look at me!” I repeated in his chest. “Crying over one Barbie when we both know there’s going to be hundreds more…” I clenched my fists tightly to stop the tears. “He won’t commit…” I suddenly felt determined so I pulled away from him and added.  “And I’m not going to be that girl who lets the guy fuck her over and over until she’s but a ghost of who she used to be…“