Safe?

Chapter 39

Once I got to the Davies’, I went for a long run.

I had to erase Peter’s face from my mind. It had brought back too many painful memories.

Memories, of what had been, and no longer would be.

Maybe I should have kept quiet… I thought as angry tears blurred my vision.

If I hadn’t told him how I felt, we would still be the three Musketeers, and she would never have told me how much she hated me.

You would still be pining over him, though.

I felt like screaming.

I was so fed up with everything, especially Luke.

Luke…

I so needed him right now, but his insecurities had fucked everything up.

Again.

I hated the fact that despite everything, I was still wondering if I had done the right thing.

I tried to convince myself that I had, that he would have driven me crazy otherwise, and that right now, I wasn’t strong enough to deal with his shit.

I sighed, knowing full well that I was lying to myself.

“Lily!” I looked to my right and smiled when I saw that Mattie was waving at me from the little café Jax had taken me to the other day.

“Hey, Mattie boy!” I greeted when I reached him.

“Do you want to eat an ice-cream with Daddy and I?” He asked me with a pleading look.

“Hmm… I’m not really hungry, right now, Mattie.” I answered, but couldn’t help feeling bad when his big blue eyes were suddenly full of unshed tears.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ruffled his hair, unwilling to hug him because of how sweaty I was.

“Nothing…” He sounded so sad.

“Mattie...” I squatted in front of him and looked at him straight in the eyes.

“It’s Mom…” He muttered.

“What about her?” I asked gently.

“She came to see me at the nursery at lunch…” His gaze was cast to the ground.

“Did you tell your Dad?” I whispered.

He shook his head sadly.

“What did she want?” I asked, hoping he couldn’t see how angry at Alison I was right then.

“She wanted me to tell her how Daddy was treating me…” He started crying. “She was sad that I was happy with Daddy…” He hiccupped.

“Come here, Mattie.” I pulled him to me. “Sorry if I smell bad…”

“Y-you always smell good, Lily…” He stuttered between two hiccups, so I tightened my hold on his shaking body.

“Mattie?” Luke was standing above us with two ice-creams in his hands.

“Hey, cheer up, Mattie boy!” I said as cheerfully as I could manage. “Look at what Daddy is holding in his hands?”

“M-my ice-cream…” He hiccupped.

“Too right, it is…” I exclaimed. “Although it might become mine if those beautiful eyes of yours don’t dry up quick…”

He quickly wiped his eyes, and looked at me expectantly. I smiled at him and nodded once.