Unexpected.

Chapter 1

I traced my fingers over the slight bump that had started to rise on my stomach. I still found it hard to come to terms with the fact that there was a living and growing baby inside me. But no matter how hard things got, I loved the child and so did Louis.

I remember when the pregnancy test first showed the plus symbol, I cried into Lou’s arms for hours and then took three more tests within the next week to make sure it was definite. My parents disowned me once they found out and I moved into Lou’s and Harry’s apartment.  Only the age of 19, I still felt no urge to hate my mum and dad for what they did, I know I was a disappointment, I just hoped they were better off without me.

As I pulled my leggings from the drawer I turned to Louis.

‘I am not going to be able to fit these soon’ I realized squeezing my foot into the tight leg hole.

‘But you will still be beautiful’ he commented balancing me as I stumbled trying to pull the leggings up to my waist. He always knew how to make me feel better about myself, he always knew how to make things right. When I bawled for those hours after realizing I was with child he just cradled me until he found the right time to punch in some unnecessary jokes about how the baby would carry his crooked nose and to tell you the truth I hoped it did.

If our baby looked like Lou and if he was a boy he would be blessed; with his beautiful blue eyes, brown luscious hair, thin lips that held dimples at each end of his smile and strong capable jaw line that managed to give his eyes a smoldering look, Louis was absolutely flawless. Even if the baby was a girl, her beauty would be indescribable just like her fathers.

Me, on the other hand would be a curse on the child if it was to inherit any of my habits or looks. I had a small petite body and my hair was brown with long curls reaching down my back to my waist. My eyes round with thick eye lashes and a hazel colour around the pupil. It was as if someone had planted a button as my nose and threw on some freckles just for laughs. My lips full because of my retainer I wore. I know, I don’t know how I got Louis either.

Driving to the hospital was nerve wrecking, I felt anxious for some odd reason but still carried a large amount of excitement. Today was the day we would find out if our baby was a boy or girl.

‘Harry still wants the baby’s name to be Freya if it is a girl’ Lou’s light voice chuckled as we pulled into the hospital car parks.

Harry was Louis best mate and also one of his fellow band members from the world-wide known boy band, One Direction. There were five of them, Louis, Harry, Liam, Niall and Zayn.

Louis to me was the most beautiful but the other four still were faultless. Harry carried thick brown locks of curls on his long lanky body and had piercing green eyes. Liam had a sort of cuteness about him although showed much maturity too, his brown hair short and his full lips complimenting his strong cheek bones. Niall had bright blue eyes, similar to Lou’s but his hair was a beautiful blonde and he was the only Irish member in the band, the other four were British. And then there was Zayn, dark hair that stood up and his beating eye lashes covering beautiful brown orbs. To say the least these boys were perfect.

‘We are not naming the baby Freya. Do you want the child to get beaten up?’ I laughed walking through the sliding doors.

I hadn’t realized until Louis’ hand grabbed mine that I was shaking and tapping anxiously as we sat in the waiting room.

‘Stephanie you’re going to irritate everyone in the room, breathe.’ He chortled.

I laid my head against the pillow feeling the cold blue liquid being squeezed onto my stomach. I took a deep breath as goose-bumps caused the hairs on my neck to stand up.

Lou gripped my hand and looked down at me as we watched the doctor fiddle around with the ultra sound. I had had this done before so I knew what she was looking for, I was waiting to see the slight beat on the screen representing our baby’s heart but nothing happened.

She frantically moved the piece around on my stomach as if the baby was lost somewhere within my womb. We could see the infant on the screen, laying in the blackness, still, no heart beat.

‘I-I can’t seem to see the heart beat like last time?’ Lou asked calmly but I could hear his voice breaking.

A few more seconds of silence passed and I felt my hands become clammy as they grasped Lou’s tightly.

‘There is no heartbeat.’ She said and in that moment my heart sank.

‘No heart beat? What? What is wrong with our baby?’ Lou’s voice seemed to raise in slight anger.

‘I’m so sorry Mr. Tomlinson and Mrs. McAllister… your child has passed.’ There was no nice way for the doctor to break it to us.

I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened. I felt my legs melt to jelly and my eye sight blur as I tried to watch the screen with our dead child pictured on it. Alone in the darkness, dead, I was meant to protect him or her and I didn’t. I couldn’t concentrate on the mumbled words being said around me, I could taste the salty liquid run over my lips as I clutched my stomach with both hands, embracing the deceased baby.

It then suddenly hit me, the tightness in my chest, the itchiness under my skin and the whole in my stomach. I gasped for breaths, my throat closing, as I tried to understand that our baby was gone.

Lou’s now cold hands grabbed my sweaty face.

‘It is going to be okay baby, it is going to be fine’ I could hear him try to comfort me but I pushed his hands away, lifting myself from the bed.

My head spun around as I clutched my chest taking deep breathes in and out before forcing myself to speak.

‘My baby’s gone, my baby’s gone?’ I managed to ask looking up at the doctor. She nodded her head, apologizing.

‘You have to check again.’ I mumbled before becoming louder, ‘You have to check again!’

‘I’m so sorry but she is gone’ I could see her eyes tearing up. My body rocked in anger and depression as I took in her words.

‘She?’ Lou asked.

‘She was a baby girl’ She said a tear falling down her face.

‘Freya…’ I sobbed so quietly no one seemed to notice.

I disliked the name before but it dawned on me then that no matter what she was called she was my baby girl, she was mine and she was gone. Freya Rose Tomlinson, our baby girl.