BLSC #10 : His Bid on Her

Chapter 12 - Accept The Fact

Irene Payton

"You're a fucking asshole!" I bursted angrily at Joel and he just looked at me with amusement in his eyes.

"Hot asshole." He said and I scoffed disbelief.

"Can you just get lost from my life?" I asked and his eyes suddenly turned serious.

"Who's that guys earlier?" He asked in a cold tone.

"My future boyfriend."

"Babe.. you can't have 2 boyfriends at the same time." What?!

"You're acting like a kid." I hissed and walked away.

"4 years, Irene." I stopped walking and sighed.

"I can't find myself giving up on you again. No matter how hard you try to push me away, I will always go back for you." He said and I turned my body to him.

"I'm not happy when I'm with you." I said looking straight to his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I hurted you, can we just start everythig from the beginning?" He asked in a sad tone and I shook my head. He walked closer to me. He locked his eyes on me and I hate that I always feel weak everytime I see that eyes.

I loved him with all my heart and I got hurt so bad. I don't want to repeat it again to be honest. I'm tired.

Joel slipped his hand to my cheek and caressed it. I closed my eyes completely missing his touch.

"We both know that we still love each other, Irene." He said and I sighed. I pushed his hand away slowly and looked up to him.

"Let's talk then.." I said and he nodded.

"Your place?" He asked and I nodded. He held my hand and we walked towards his car. I got inside and put my seatbelt on. None of us dare to talk first, I just leaned back to the seat and looked out to the window.

"Do you even love me at that time?" I asked Joel.

"Yeah, I do."

"Then why.. why do you keep me in the dark?"

"I don't want people to hurt you and I still love my reputation." He said truthfully.

"Have you even think about my feelings?"

"The thought of us being so much in love was enough. I thought it was enough."

"Do you guys have somekind of bet on me?"

"No. There was no bet in our relationship. It was pure that I want you." He answered. I stopped asking questions because I wanted to cry so bad. I kept holding my tears back remembering the pain that I went through.

As we arrived at my place, I lead him to my apartment. I took off my heels and walked towards the sofa. I sat down and Joel sat beside me. I moved a little bit so we have a little space.

We both looked at each other and I know my feelings that I still love him. Everyinch of him but the pain is just too much.

"Joel.. We can't go back together. We only hurt each other later on."

"I won't hurt you." He answered and I sighed.

"Tell me why you left.." He said and my eyes shot up to him. My head started to flashback what happen 4 years ago. I started to tear up and wiped it quickly.

Joel looked at me speechless and he tried to get closer to me but I gestured him to stay on his place. I wiped it and sighed.

"I was pregnant." I said honestly and looked straight to his eyes. His eyes widen and he looked at me disbelief.

"I found out about it one day before our graduation." I said and Joel was speechless.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked in a small tone.

"Will you accept that fact if I told you 4 years ago. You have a big ego, your love for reputation, popularity and you love being surround by girls who worship you?" I asked and he shut his mouth.

"See.. I know you so well. I already predict that so before even you find out about it. I ran away."

"Where's our c-"

"I got a miscarriage." I said and bursted crying. Joel hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry." Joel said. I pushed him away.

"That's why I can't be with you again! You have to understand that! Everytime I see your face, I always remember our baby!" I bursted angrily and he looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"You know I can't let you go again, Irene."

"I've had enough, Joel. I'm happy now.. Moving on with my old life was hard and when I was starting yo move on with it.. you came again." I said in a really painful tone

"We can start over again.." Joel said and I found tears come out from his eyes.

"It's too late. My relationship with you never give me a happiness. You hurted me instead protecting me. I still can't believe that I loved you so much back then. I was stupid to believe that a guy like you will really fall for me." I said and wiped my tears again.

"You should have tell me! You know I can understand even though I will get mad at first.. you know me so well, Irene."

"Do you think being pregnant is not a big deal? It's something big Joel! Have you ever think about my feelings?" I asked angrily. Joel looked away and I sighed.

"I'm tired seeing you coming again and again to my life. I don't want to be with you again. You need to understand that."

"What's his or her name? How old is he when you.." He choked saying it.

"I miscarriage him when he's 6 months old. I haven't name him yet.."

"Look Joel.. let's move on with our lives. I've reach my downfall and now I slowly crawling back up. If you keep coming back to my life.. You're hurting me more. Can you just back off?" I asked and he turned to me with his cold eyes.

"I don't want that.. I can't.. I won't give up on you Irene and I want to be responsible for everything that I've done."

"It's useless.. There's no baby between us. Maybe.. If you know that I pregnant.. you might ask me to miscarriage it instead of keeping it." I said coldly and he looked at me disbelief.

"How can you think that? You know me so well, Irene!"

"I know you so well that's why I ran away!!" I bursted angrily.

"Accept the fact Joel! Suck it up because I won't go back to you again!"