Loren and Kristi [Transgender Love Story]

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

(Kristi)

A month later:

I don't know if I can keep this up much longer. I've been sneaking around with Logan for two months now and it's eating at me. I never wanted to be a cheater but I am. I keep telling myself I should stop what I am doing but I still continue. I'm a horrible person I know and I finally understand why Lexy said Loren deserves better because it's true.

I am sitting up on the bed beside Loren watching as he sleeps in the bed not having a care in the world, having no idea what I have been doing every day. If he found out I was cheating again would he still love me? Probably not which scares me because I would lose Loren and the baby.

I put right hand on his stomach and feel movement. I jump back shocked at what I just felt that I wasn't expecting. I hurry and place my hand on his stomach feeling what I realize now is the baby kicking. I haven't felt the baby kick until now making me question if something was wrong but those worries are gone now. Loren starts to wake up and open his eyes looking at me. "What are you doing?" he asks sitting up.

"The baby just kicked, didn't you feel it?" I reply excited getting a different look from him than I expected. Instead of excitement or joy he is acting normal.

"I know the baby has been kicking for a while." he says.

I looked at him shocked wondering why he never told me. He promised he would tell me right away but this whole time he has kept it a secret? "Since when has the baby started kicking?" I ask upset.

"Last month," he answers getting up and leaving me alone on the bed.

I follow behind him and say, "Will you please look at me Loren please? What's wrong?"

He stops and turns around by the bedroom door entrance with his blue eyes staring back at me. "Nothing is wrong Kristi, everything is fine."

"You're not acting like everything is fine. Did I do something wrong?" I ask.

"No,"

"Then why didn't you tell me about the baby kicking. Why are you acting distant?"

"I'm sorry okay? I meant to tell you but I had a lot of other things on concerning work and stuff. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I say as Loren walks over to me and gives me a hug. She kisses me on the lips before we walk into the other room. "So how about today before you go to work we go and buy some more baby stuff?" I ask.

"Yeah sure," he replies giving me a smile. I've been meaning to get around to decorating the baby's room when Loren is gone but I just don't know how. We're having a boy and Loren still doesn't know. I can't be happier since I always wanted a boy first then a daughter.

So far the room is empty looking with just a shelf, dresser, mirror, some stuff animals and clothes. We still have to buy a lot more. The reason why we have so little is because Loren has wanted to wait until later. I understand though he was scared something might happen and we would lose the baby but nothing like that happened. Now that means we only have two and a half months left until the baby is here to get everything we need. Plus I want to maybe paint the wall or add some sort of color to the plain boring white walls.

I sit on the couch next to Loren and start to feel guilty for what I have done. All the times I could have been fixing the room up I've been spending it with Logan. I don't know why I had to mess everything up now. How could I be so stupid? We're having a family and I'm cheating on Loren with Logan. The worst part is I don't want it to stop even though I know it should. I know I can't continue this forever but I don't know how to end it. I have a life with Loren but it doesn't make me want to stop seeing Logan.