the ceo - h.s. [au]

chapter 40

harry arrives with a box of pizza and a bottle of wine. i smile softly at him as i let him in and close the door behind. he's wearing a leopard printed t-shirt which makes me want to laugh, with the usual skinny jeans and a pair of boots also a long black trench coat on his arm. it's been a few times i've seen him with casual clothes and i still find it way more hotter than when he uses working clothes.

"i told you i can't sleep, not hungry," i chuckle, rubbing my eyes.

"let's kill some times to get to know each other deeper, yeah?" harry asks, making me feel suprised. "i am tired fighting about the same thing. so if you want to ask me anything, be my guest, scarlette."

i smile at him with genuine happiness. he nods at me and walk to the couch, setting all the pizza and the bottle on the table. i walk to my bedroom to get a blanket and two pillows for the two of us so we can feel more comfortable and then set myself into a cozy position at the edge of the couch. i grab a slice of pizza and take a bite immediately while harry pours the wine to the glasses that he took from my kitchen.

"first of all," harry starts. "the actual reason why i never brought up anything about your real mom is because i know how shitty it feels like to lose someone," he explains, making me feel taken aback. "but i have realised that you and cole are not real siblings when i knew the you two did not have the same family name."

even the start is already deeper than an ocean.

"my grandfather from my dad was so close to me when he was alive. he died around a year after i started high school so since then, grieving has always been the most sensitive subject for me. it will make me talk about him again and i will feel the blade being twisted on my heart again," continues. "but i am sorry for making you feel like i don't want to care about it for one bit."

i nod slowly at him, swallowing my food. "i'm sorry too. i don't know anything about that so i guess i have to think more before saying something," i say.

"it was not your fault this afternoon, scarlette. as soon as you mentioned my mom, i wanted to talk about my grandfather, but i was afraid because i had never mentioned it to anyone since his death," he nods to himself, playing with the rings on his fingers.

"i've never told anyone about my real mother either, except for my close friends and cole, of course," i say.

"if you want to talk about it with me, just talk," harry offers, holding my hands to his and rubbing it slowly.

"i think i was exaggerating things this afternoon, but honestly, i just want to know her better," i sigh. "i wanted to know how it felt like to have your mom driving or picking you up at school when i was a little kid, but i couldn't," i start. "alex, cole's mom did that when we started elementary school, but no matter i take her as my mother, the thought of my real mother will always haunt me," i pause, my hands begin to shake. "i wanted to tell her that i met a guy, i wanted to tell her stories that i was dealing with, but i got no answer because i was just talking to a grave stone."

harry stares deep right into me as he takes a deep breathe. "i know wanting someone to be with you is hard, especially when they are no longer in this world, but one thing that i really know for sure even though she had gone a long time ago, the best thing she had ever done was giving birth to you," harry says. "she might be gone, scarlette, but has it ever crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe, she thought it was okay for her to be gone as long as he had give birth to, you?" he asks.

"you don't know that," i shake my head.

"i don't, but i will be darn proud to have a daughter like you even though i did not have the time watching it," he answers. "you thought she did not hear you, but she's still watching you from up there. you thought she had gone for so long, but no. she is still with you, scarlette, but you can not hear her, and it is upsetting for a mother to see her own daughter keeps grieving about them," harry tries to explain, "it is okay for you to be sad over it, it really is, because i still find myself thinking about my grandfather sometimes, but you can not blame her for not being there for you all the time. back then, maybe God already told her about the woman that you would become so she could set her wings ready."