the ceo - h.s. [au]

chapter 55

today is the day i'm coming back to the office — i mean, like really being at the office twenty four seven. i didn't sleep at all last night like a kid who couldn't wait for their school trip, but that wasn't how i feel. my heart couldn't stop palpitate knowing i have to face harry again today. to be honest, i regret rejecting him for a talk. as much as i hate him, there's something inside of me wanting to know how he is these past few weeks, how he's doing. i miss him, but i don't want him to ruin my pride once more.

what pride? you have nothing left. my brain says

"shut the fuck up!" i snap to no one, feeling infuriated.

groaning, i get up from my bed whilst rubbing my face with my hands, i walk slowly to my bathroom knowing i still have thirty minutes to get ready.

-

arriving at the office, everyone stares at me in strange, probably because i didn't have any make up on and how bare i look. i only applied a soft pink color lip stain, other than that, i put on a pair of suit trousers, a black shirt and a pair of heels.

"wow, scarlette, haven't seen you in so long...abysmal diet?" john asks, staring at me up and down amid my arrival to my office table. i force a smile, not in the mood for small conversation.

"leave her alone," sarah suddenly comes, sighing at john.

"sorry," he shrugs before leaving.

sarah turns to me with wide smiles, "welcome back, stranger!" she cheerfully says, hugging me.

i chuckle while hugging her back, "nice to see you again, sarah."

"are you okay?" she asks after letting go, "really, how are you?" she starts to question.

"i'm fine," i smile. "never been better actually."

"that's good to hear!" she nods, "mr. horan told me you were going through some private stuffs, but i didn't dare to ask you any further, scared if i might look like violating your privacy."

"that's okay," i chuckle. "how are the others?"

"the usual," she shrugs, "lunch with us today?" she smiles at me.

"sure!" i instantly answer. "i'll come to your table after i'm done with some things?"

"can't wait!" she says, "oh, almost forgot to tell you that mr. horan wants you at his office once you got here." she informs.

after that, we bid our goodbye as we go back to our work. i make my way to niall's office and with my eyes straight, not wanting to look at any other. especially harry. the only reason why i walk in such hurry is because i don't want to see or be seen by him. every since i saw him two days ago, i couldn't seem get my mind off of him. his touch made my body shiver all night long remembering i could never be touched by him in any way ever again.

my mind keeps forcing me to come back to that night where i left him standing by the road. i didn't know how he felt that day, but i know for sure there's nothing can be fixed anymore. perhaps i should give him more time to elucidate, but i didn't. there were so much options to be made that night; to fought for myself more or the sake of two of us, to be quiet, to walk away, or to just stand there like a total fool like i already was and gave this thing some time or chance to grow.

but i didn't.

"shut the fuck up!" i frustately groan once again to myself, standing alone inside the elevator.

once the elevator door is open, i keep my step faster than before, not even glancing at harry's office since that's what i've been trying to do. i survived a month sans him, i surely will survive this day too. i probably haven't used to this, but i once lived a life without him so there's a huge chance that i can do it again. it takes time of course and i'm willing to go through them all.