the ceo - h.s. [au]

chapter 52

please listen to hericane by lany while reading this. xx

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"scarlette!" i hear harry shouts from behind. i couldn't be more careless as i keep walking with my head down low, letting all the tears stream down my eyes. by now, i know i'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. "scarlette!" he keeps shouting.

i walk with the thick cold air breezing around me, making my hair flies everywhere. the road is desserted and i'm pretty sure i could almost hear my heart shattered from inside and the sound of harry's steps following behind me. i feel like my ribs were broken as my heart aches everytime i take a breathe.

"scarlette!" harry grabs my forearm from behind but i snatch it back and turn around to face him.

"please, don't," i say to him.

"just hear me out, scarlette!" he snaps, frustration is clear upon his voice and eyes.

"i have heard enough!" i holler, tears keep streaming down.

"you don't know what it's like to be in my position!" he runs a hand through his hair.

"that's always been the fucking problem! isn't it, styles?" i scoff, feeling another single hot tear runs down my cheek.

"scarlette, please." he sounds like he begs. "please hear me out."

"no. you fucking hear me out!" i point a finger to his face. "it's been months and i'm always there even though you hurted me sometimes, never once in my life i got tired of you!" i cry in front of him, "why? you treated me different than others even though you showed it with the wrong way sometimes. but this is your final blow, harry. please understand that human has heart too, and sometimes," i pause, taking a breathe, "sometimes it cracks."

harry stares at me in silence with his hands balling into a tight fist. it's not just like the usual silence between us, but that kind of silence where you just wish like you could scream at the top of your lungs and burst in any seconds into tiny little pieces. it's the silence that holds so many loud thoughts in your mind, trying to answer your life questions one by one when you know not a single one can be solved. the only thing i'm thanking the universe by now is the fact my parents went home early from harry's birthday celebration since they still have work to do. cole doesn't know anything since i left him still hanging with the others, but i don't even want him to know too. i'm afraid this thing would ruin his friendship with harry.

harry looks like he ran out of words and i can't stop the tears right now. all the memories from the beginning have started to float around because i know i can't be with him anymore knowing it's all been fucked from the very first place.

taking a sharp intake breath while keeping my eyes down low to the path, my knuckles turn into ball of fists as i turn my heels to go.

"scarlette," harry holds my forearm, "the engagement was over a long time ago," he trails. "baby, please just go home with me and we will solve this out. i can explain everything. please, i love you so much, scarlette."

"tell me, styles, if we didn't have a huge fight that day, would you break the engagement? would you dare? after all this time, you are the coward!" i remind him, hollering at him. "it's so fucking twisted, you know?" i shut my eyes briefly, facing him once more. "the whole love thing. like, really? you fall in love and you literally fall. you crash to the ground and i swear all of your bones break. you're fucking shattered but you don't notice because you've got this beautiful boy whispering in your ears and kissing you on your mouth and nothing else matters. but then the reality slaps then you cry fucking hysterically," i scoff, feeling like all my body is becoming numb. but the tears, they keep falling. "now here i am, trying to hold my bones together but i guess," i pause, taking a breathe so i will be able to finish my words, "i guess i have to accept the truth. we are done here, harry."

"don't-" he pauses, his eyes start watering. "don't say that, scarlette. we can fix this."

"you're a fucking coward, styles," i hiss at him. "do you even realise that? and what makes me really mad is that we've been dating based on lies!" i scream, tugging my hair. this one fucking stresses me out and i want to chop my eyeballs off just so i don't have to see his beautiful face once again. "and which part should we even fix?!" i holler with my hands up in the air, totally disbelief.

"it was not based on lies," harry frowns, "i want you, scarlette! God darn it, i only want you!"

"and you think that was enough?" i snap at him, laughing homourlessly. "it's not about whom wants whom the most, harry. that's not how relationship works — oh my God, i can't believe i'm still explaining this to you!" i rub my messy face. raising my trembling hands slowly, i caress his cheeks with the frightening feeling that this might be the last time i can touch his soft cheeks. i shut my eyes tight in anguish as if a bullet just went through my heart, "i love you too much it hurts." i try to make my breathe steady, "let's just give each other some times and maybe," i pause again, "just maybe, i can understand how it is like to be on your position." with that, i turn around and walk away from him. i wipe my tears away with my hand and take a short glance at him who's now standing with his head hanging down low. "i don't blame you for this mess, i don't hate you. infact, the most fucked up thing regarding all these is how much i still love you, but i can't stand seeing you right now."

after my last statement, i leave. stupid me to think this could go just fine just for this fucking time. stupid me to think that he's not like any other guys back then. stupid me for thinking he could feel the same toward me. stupid me to spent so many nights thinking about him. stupid me to think he would feel the same and fucking stupid me to fall in love with him.

so here i am, a walking travesty, alone in the middle of London street even though my legs feel like falling on my knees. my eyes can't stop watering as i choke on my own spit. my brain starts to repeat all the beautiful memories we had and how i think we will never be together again. i should've known that this day would come, but i guess i was too caught up with the beautiful things back then, i was too blinded by his eyes, his jokes, his hugs, his kisses, and this twisted thing that we call love.

as much as i want to punch harry's face, i also want to scream at the top of my lungs against his chest just to make him realised the amount of pain he's caused. i want to tell him how hurt i am right now, i want him to know how much i love him even when he's hurt me. but i know that would make a total fool of myself, but Lord i can't bare with the pain alone right now.

opening my apartment door, i throw all my things to the floor and finally fall down to my knees with my hands covering my whole face, screaming sans a care anyone would hear me. i sob historically, asking God to just stop the anguish. i can always bear with heartbreak, but this one is something else. harry is the least person that i thought would betray me whereas the patterns were already showing since a long time ago. love is not blind, i just refuse to see things from a different point of view.

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Jeez, its been longs since i last updated. i'm sorry for being an abysmal author! x
i read all the comments by the way and i've written a few more chapters for further update. please, enjoy! xx