The Exchange

Chapter 49

"Are you studying?" Louis asks, peeking in the bedroom.

"What else would I be doing? Exams are coming up you know."

"Yeah, already." Louis says, looking down at his feet. I know what he means. The days are going by quicker and quicker. July is approaching too quickly.

"What exam are you studying for?"

"French." I reply, trying to gather my thoughts to write a paragraph using the past tense.

"I'm gonna be sad to see you go."

"What?" I reply, only half listening.

"I'll be sad to see you go." He repeats, sitting on the edge of the bed so he's only a few inches away from me. We sit at the same height looking into each other.

"I'll be sad to leave too." I reveal, opening my heart to my deepest thoughts.

"It's gonna feel different without you around."

"Oh it won't feel that bad." I reply, refusing to believe that they'll miss me. Refusing to believe that we've created something.

"Yes it will. Niall might die from the lack of delicious food." Louis responds. He takes my hand and pulls me up, off the chair, "And I don't know what I'll do without you."

Louis stares into my eyes. I try to look away but it's too hard. What do I say to that?

"I'm going to miss you." I whisper.

"Just promise me we'll stay in touch."

"Of course." I reply. He pecks my cheek in a more romantic way than ever before and it stirs confusion through my body. It makes me stop for a minute. What did he mean? What did our whole conversation mean? Maybe I'm overthinking this.

"I'll leave you to your exams." He says. I watch Louis turn around and bounce out the door before sitting back down at my desk. I attempt to study but half my brain is still confused.

My brain stares at my notes for an hour and a half, attempting to sort out what Louis said. Does he really think of me that way?

"Knock, knock." Harry says, peeking his head through the door. My heart lifts slightly. I know nothing will be confusing with Harry. It's Harry.

"Hey!" I greet, swivelling my chair.

"Are you studying?"

"Sort of." I admit.

"When's your exam?"

"Monday."

"So soon?" I turn around and see he's looking at a framed picture on my dresser. It's the one I added recently. A picture of all of us from that first weekend the boys toured me around. I don't remember taking a lot of pictures that day but this is one from when we came back. All the boys are out of their disguises and seated in the living room. We are all smiling happily, waiting for the self timer to take the picture. I replaced the old one of my friends and I with it. We all just look happy and that's what I like most about it. Looking around my room, I realize there is a bunch of stuff I've added. Besides that picture I have one of Brianna, Wendy, Jessica, Dira, Brandon and I smiling into a camera at one of Brandon's infamous party's. There are also books Liam recommended I read that pile on my bookshelf and a fully completed drawing of a dove from Zayn, leaning against my mirror. The best though, a little porcelain doll holding a canadian flag from Niall. Actually, the best is probably a single undying black rose from Louis. One day he caught me reading a book with a charcoal black rose on the cover. I proceeded to tell him the beauty that still lies in a dark rose and I came home to find it on my bed with a note. "You're right, a rose is a rose no matter what colour. Take this as a reminder of me, forever." To think that all that's on my mind now is that I'll have to pack it all up soon.

"Yeah," I trail off lifting my head at everything I've called home for the last few months. Harry puts the picture back and looks around the room, noticing everything I'm noticing now.

"You know, at first I really didn't want to come to London, but now I don't want to leave." I admit looking at my hands in my lap.

"London will do that to you I guess. It's gonna be weird without you when you leave." Harry's thoughts remind me of Louis and I's conversation. Why are they thinking the same thing?

"Why do you say that?" I voice.

"It just will. You're a part of everything now." He whispers honestly. I don't want to believe it though.  Not because of what happened before, because I don't want to believe I'm leaving behind so much that I care about and going so far away again. Quietly, tears fill my eyes. I try to hide them but Harry is at my side in a second.

"I'm going to miss you guys so much!" I whisper. Harry puts his arm over me and pulls me close to his chest.

Harry whispers something through my hair. It sounds muffled but I can just make out,

"...miss you more."

Harry comforts me for a minute more and then lifts my chin to look into his face. Everything that comes with leaving feeds my emotions.

"It's not time to think of that yet." Harry says smiling slightly. I nod knowing he's right. Harry wipes my eyes with his thumb like the wonderful person he is.