What happens when you keep secrets? You keep one person happy, but at what cost? Sometimes is it better tell the secret?
The drama never stops in real life, at least not mine. One thing after the next, until it breaks you, yet it still doesn't yield...
We live on a quiet little farm, my Great Grandma's farm, in a state that most people don't know about, Wyoming. Most people might imagine that having sheep, and chicken, and bovine, that life would be fun. It wasn't, at least not for my older sister, Jane and I. Our mother didn't really want daughters. She wanted a son. Lucky for her she had my younger brother. Relative to my sister and I, my brother was treated like angel, whereas us girls felt like slaves. However, we were all given the same basic rules.
I'm not entirely sure how the topic of dating ever came up, I just remember sitting at the dinner table one evening. Mom and Dad were sitting on the opposite side to us three kids, listing off dating rules. 1. No dating 2. No dating anyone who's name starts with the letter 'J' 3. No dating at least until you are 16 4. Just no dating at all
The second rule was more or less of a joke, since all of our names started with a the letter J. They just really didn't want us to date, and they never gave us a good reason. We had rules and were expected to follow them without question.
Not all of us obeyed. Jade started dating boys in elementary school, keeping it from the family. Not that we shouldn't have been able to guess, because she was a beautiful child. Tan colored skin even in the winter. Dark brown hair with a natural curl. Skinny no matter what she ate. Athletic and competitive. She was a perfect little girl, but she would learn that she didn't want to seem so perfect. Perfection leads to pain. And she tried to deal with that a having secret boyfriends, for it wasn't just the boys her age that saw how flawless she was.
The biggest problem with living on that farm was someone else who also lived there. My grandma, being a overly kind lady that she is, agreed to marry someone who she once dated. They were getting old and he didn't want to be alone in his final years. The only thing I really knew about his life, is that he served in the army, and that he looked at inappropriate things on his computer.
My sister and I loved to spend time at grandma's house, and because we lived on the same property our parents would often let us stay overnight in my grandma's spare bedroom. My grandma would always have us leave the bedroom door open, because she would she sometimes wake up at night and would like to make sure that we were okay. Grandpa would also be up most of the night, and sometimes he would come into the room that my sister and I were sleeping in.
I always thought he was just a creepy old man, but I was also too young to realize that what he was asking for was not okay. He would ask for me to drive him around the field in his little golf cart, I thought he just wanted me to practice driving. While away from everyone, where no one could see is where things were not okay. He would rest his dry old wrinkled hand on my upper thigh. I didn't under that was wrong, hell I didn't even know at the time what differences there where between and male and female. He would ask me to do things like take a picture of my sister while she was in the bathroom. I never did. I kinda new that bathrooms were for one person to be in at a time and it would be rude to go into the bathroom if anyone else was in there. He also would ask questions that I didn't understand at the time, like if a pet my pussy. I thought he was talking about my cat. He didn't just do these things with me, my sister had it worse. She was thinner, and more beautiful that I was. She was older, and her body was going to mature faster than mine.
In secret, my sister told my once before that she never felt love from us, her family, because of her having a different father. Then later, she told me of her dating boys, yet that wasn't until she was in eighth grade. Shocked, I wasn't sure what to do, but she had told me to keep it a secret. For years, I kept this secret. I thought it would cause no harm not to tell.
On the yearly morning bus ride to school at the beginning of her ninth grade year, she had met the boy she would call her first love. Again I thought not to tell our parents would be best.
She had told me that she cared for this boy, that she even loves him. Still I thought nothing of it, only she how happy she was.
He only rode the bus a couple of times, but I could never forget how optimistic she looked curled into him. Then I discovered the boys name to be Logan Flowers.
Just like keeping secrets with friends makes you closer, I felt closer to my sister knowing more than other.
But what I didn't know was that he was a Senior in school at the same time she was a freshman. So the next school year, Logan would always take Jade out for lunch, treated her right.
Nothing really happened, nothing I could ever expect anyway.
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