Rebel's Lies (Completed)

05 Another Lie

The hot summer days with cool summer nights is when I would usually be having fun, but all I get to do is clean my room. Jane left it a wreck. As I would pull stuff out from under her bed, I'd stop and look at what exactly it was trying to figure out who she really was.

I came across a stolen school computer one day, and when I looked at the number on the back I realized it was the one the school had been asking about since January. I set it aside for now and keep looking.

I pull out a green composition book, and then I remember how in sophomore year we were given a composition book, with my colors to choose from and we had to use it as a journal every school day in English class. As I start to read through her journal, I first see the mushy boyfriend/ girlfriend lovey stuff, but then I also see things I wouldn't think anyone would write down.

2/3/15
    I feel stuck and have no idea what to do. I have a huge secret I'm keeping from all my friends and family. I wanna tell them but I'm scared to I don't know how they will take it or how to even start the conversation. I feel like if I told them that they would reject me. I don't know who to go to who to talk to. I feel like no matter who I tell they are gonna blab to to everyone and then I would get made fun of and bullied. I just want my parents to be understanding. When I tell them things they always put me down. What should I do? I'm scared beyond repair.

'Umm, I wonder what that secret was, maybe a little child growing inside of her?'

2/6/15
    We'll My day stinks Logan went out of ton and no one hangs out with me or anything I hate today so much no one understands me at all. I cry myself to sleep.

'Wow she actually mentions him by name!'

2/19/15
    Iv'e had an interesting last few days. Me and Logan are talking more. Iv'e been standing up for myself more When Kate and David try to twist twist Logans words o get me to give up, I ignore them I can tell Logan still cares about me and loves me. Logan and me belong together. Our love we share is more powerful then, most couples. I doubt logan could leave me. I went skiing for three days straight.

'It doesn't stop here on this entry, but the rest started getting really boring. Anyway am curious with her grammar, some parts really bother me. 'Logan and me belong together' don't you mean 'Logan and I" urrggg. Then later she doesn't even capitalize his name! I remember going skiing those three days though, I remember wonder if she wasn't fat, but my sister wouldn't d any thing like that, I thought.'

2/23/15
    [blaah-blah-blah boring lovey gushy feely stuff about Logan]
My sister pissed me off majorly and so did my mother. I was ready to Bitch at everyone yesterday.

'Yelp, I guess she didn't like me or mom.'

2/24/15
[mentions dad's birthday, then how I was driven to school for something.]
My mom pisses me off like last night, we had dinner and my siblings got ice cream so I asked for some and shes like "no whats up with you eating so much." I went in my room and layed on my bed so I wouldn't end up punching her in the face. This is why I do not enjoy living withy mom. I would rather live with my father. I feel like my mom wants e to starve. It hurts me.

'Grammar! Spelling! And ummm, as I recall you demanded for ice cream. Also she didn't want you fat, because bullies love to bully.'

2/25/15
[She elaborates her morning of hanging out and eating ice cream cake. Then she starts getting into talking about mom.]
I hate going home because of her. Thats part of the reason I worry about my sanity and my depression. [Oh, right, she was under the impression that she had depression. Blah-blah-blah more gushy lovey feely stuff about Logan]

'Oh. She also believed that no one cared about her.'

3/10/15
    Well now I'm pissed off. People are ruining my life. Everything is getting worse. My depression is sky rocketing right now. I feel betrayed. I want to know why someone would throw me under the bus like this. My mom is gunna kill me and I feel alone. Logan is gonna freak out and so am I me and him are stressed enough. I don't know what I'm gonna do... I need David he's my brother and I need support right now. He will hold me and make sure I'm ok. I'm not ok at all I need help. I hope Logan is at lunch and same with David. Kate won't be there but t's ok. I may get Logan back today and I hope I do. Logan's stressed because of he may be homeless soon.

'OMG! Is this when mom found out about her being pregnant? Also, she really needs to work on grammar.'

3/11/15
    Logan's homeless and I don't care. Me and my aunt are supper close. My boyfriend David is amazing.

'Grammar, grammar, grammar! Also just the day before, didn't you love Logan?'

3/13/15
    I wanna see logan and David right now I don't know how I'm gonna get through today. I don't know what time my moms gonna come to the school so I don't wanna leave school at lunch or anything. I don't know what I'm gonna do at this point. I'm scared for my life and wanna cry. I already know that people are gonna hate me today and Josh is gonna lie to the police. If he just comes clean then maybe things won't be so bad but he's most likely gonna tell the officer some lies. I don't like my life at all right now. I feel scared and helpless. I can't be sure that I'm safe. But at the time I did' know who to tell and still don't. What am I gonna do. He might say that I forced him when he forced me. I don't like people. I just wanna be alone. It's scary just talking to an officer. Ms. Thunder is a horrible person. She's made a mess of everything. My mom probly thinks bad of me. I wish I was never born. I hate situations like what I'm in. It's probly best if I don't go see him today. I don't want mom to see me out of school. I'd get yelled at. I feel sick. I mainly wanna cry I have a major headache. I should should not go to History Josh is in that class.

'I never knew anything happened between you and Josh. I also remember this day, it was a Friday, and I remember how badly I wanted to go in to that room and tell the what I knew. I wanted to tell them how I knew Jade was dated Logan. And I remember how after Jade left that room and my parents went in, she leaned over and whispered something to me. Aye told she lied to them. How if only I was braver, if only I told her secret hat entrusted to only me.'

3/16/15   
    Well I hate everything going on right now. My moms being a bitch and pissing me off to the max. Telling me to do things I don't want to do doesn't help with what's going on. Mrs. Thunder was the start of all this crap then my mom got my bill.

5/26/15
    I'm so tired... my little sister woke up y puppy at 5:20 this morning. [whoops] Did she stay up with him, NO I stayed up with him because I can't sleep through a whining puppy any more. [Hey, you didn't want me near Rowdy.] After the Days 5/15/15 and 5/16/15 I have not been able able to sleep real well but my Boyfriend understands and talks to me till I fall asleep again which is nice. I feel bad though because he lost his job today and he's trying to make enough money to support us when we are older. When I urn 18 I'm gonna be moving in with him. I'm excited our plan is to only have 2 kids.. I agree with him because the pain of pushing a child out is terrible. I thought I was going to die. I don't like staying the night in the hospital. It's a little scary and when you wake up and find out that there are tornados touching the ground no moving toward town.

5/29/15

'There is nothing after the date on this page, only blank pages until you reach the back cover.'