What happens when you keep secrets? You keep one person happy, but at what cost? Sometimes is it better tell the secret?
The drama never stops in real life, at least not mine. One thing after the next, until it breaks you, yet it still doesn't yield...
For the first time I wasn't sure if I could make it through a full school day, not for getting sick or getting hurt, but for being emotionally unstable. I've never before cried in front of friends, but the silent tears slipping by.
Perhaps we picked up the wrong sister, because this isn't how it was supposed to go. My sister was alway the closest family I had, and she was going to leave me without saying a word. I'm face to face with a friend, not physically able to tell her. I want to pour it out, but I'm unsure if I should and unsure if she'd understand. Everything slowly begins to fall apart. I already destroyed the friendship I had with a girl who felt like a sister to me. The boy that I kinda dated last year didn't give a single shit about me, and maybe that's because no one could ever love someone like me. As I sit huddled up in the little corner under the stairs, I start to realize that if I wasn't here, no one would miss me.
Without care my sister comes up to and pulls me out of my corner and out of my thoughts. When out of earshot from anyone, she tells me news of Great-grandmother, what happened after we left for school this morning. She had another heart attack and is in the hospital. She didn't want to tell us that she was in pain this morning. It's like no one gives a damn about letting me know what going on.
I couldn't think clearly.
In classes I tried to focus, yet struggled.
Today is a big day for Jane, because later this evening she will walk across a stage and get a piece of paper. To celebrate my sister and I go to the hair dresser to get her hair done up. Our plan is to meet with Grandma Janet, because she promised to pay for her.
We've been in this building many times, Great-grandmother always would take us with her when she got her white hair re-curled every week. It had a very simplistic set up, counter in front, dresser stations in back half.
My sister already knows what she is wanting before she walks in, highlights and soft curls. It's a pretty lengthy and boring process, yet the style also suits her.
Once finished with the hair, we're allowed to go home and get ready for the lunch-time party. Sometime I finally was excited for because the night before I made some of the most interesting cupcakes.
It doesn't take long for our guests to show, aunts and uncles and cousins, grandfathers and grandmothers. Everyone who cared came, even our pastor with his wife and Thomas. What seemed the most surprising, the wife of a past senator came, she and my mother know each other well.
During all the fun, I couldn't help but wonder how long my sister stay. My guess, she wouldn't stick around more than 24 hours after graduation.
7:00pm came upon us as we took our seats in the Switzer Gymnasium. Speeches flowed from one speaker to the next, congratulating the students seated before them.
When it was her turned to cross the stage set before her, she was happy, everything momentarily seemed normal. She made it from Kindergarten to graduation, like the others, seeming to perfect fit in place.
Caps flew, masses of people cheered, the ceremony ended and kids left separate ways to celebrate more, the recently graduated left to party all night, while I went home to sleep.
Later the next morning, probably close to 9, I wake up and go change into nicer day clothes. That's when I realized she's gone. Bed barren, favorite plant gone, backpack still missing from the time before. She's not coming back this time, we can't stop her. I never got a good bye, my most recent memory may forever be blurry with sleepiness. She's gone, without a word.
Alone and betrayed, my mind starts to wander off. I wonder of all the ways I could leave, which would be best.
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