What happens when you keep secrets? You keep one person happy, but at what cost? Sometimes is it better tell the secret?
The drama never stops in real life, at least not mine. One thing after the next, until it breaks you, yet it still doesn't yield...
I can't handling waiting to hear from her anymore. I am going to message her. Then I will get rid of the app so she can't message me back. I start typing "Goodbye Jane." I just wished I could have told her that effort she left. "I'm going to miss who I thought you were."
During school, at some point, I checked my email to find notifications that she had messaged back, I didn't block her before I deleted the app. I should just ignore it.
Right before I go to bed I check my email again. The notifications still there. Curiosity ends up caching me and I re-download the app. When the download is finished, I start to question my choice.
I fell asleep last night without looking at what she had to say, and again I tried to avoid even going on that app. Then I made my final mistake and opened it. "Good. I learned who you were and honestly. I have contact with the family and friends that understand where I'm coming from. You have become just like our mother, you once said you never wanted to become like her because of everything us kids went through. I didn't contact you for a reason and you just keep proveing me correct. At least I am happy where I am and can say I still have family and friends. I contact who I want and the people who are not toxic to my life. I am happy. Why isn't that enough for you."
Ok, I was young and stupid when I said I didn't want to be like my parents. I was angered, and as a typical child mad for getting in trouble, said things that I will always regret. Please use autocorrect when 'proveing' is obviously spelled "proving' with the 'e'. Also to answer your question, without the question mark at the end there, it is not enough for me only because I do not understand what I did wrong.
Then I go on to the next text bubble. "U and our mother have not been contacted by me because, I was taught when you don't have something nice to say, to then keep your mouth shut. Every family member I have talked to so far understands why I have not messaged you it our mother."
Ok, 'You' not 'U'. Second that is a far point yet it is also seen at rude to ignore someone. Third, if everyone else understands then why don't I still get why you have such a disliking for me?
"I'm not a horrible person, I'm connecting with people at my own pace."
Right, well I guess mom and I will be last if at all.
"U may say ur hurt and shit but I can see through u. U were a bully to Me and our little brother. Did you ever stop to think that maybe it was ur fault I didn't wanna talk to you. I shared secrets with u, I trusted you and you just through it all away just to be loved and perfect in our mothers eyes. I don't live to make you or her happy."
Yeah, I am hurt but how you think. You really thought that I was a bully? I loved you, all I wanted to do was show you that, yet it is common for siblings to fight sometimes. Did Jacob really think I was a bully? Does he still? Does he hate me too? I wished you never told me those secrets, I wish you trusted me, I wish you had told me how you truly felt all those years. I did not throw away anything. I kept those secrets. I hadn't even whispered a word to break that trust. At least not until I started the first chapter of this book. It was never my goal to be perfect in mom's eyes, only my own. All I wanted was to be the best that I could be. To take harder classes in school, to try hard to be a better artist, to be loved by myself.
"I live to create the life I want. I have a plan, I have a very nice roof over my head, people who understand me around and I have Logan, and I have myself, Logan loves me just the way I am and he is trying to help me reach all of my goals."
And why should I care?
"Logan has never once made me feel poorly about myself, he builds me up. You and our mother have always torn me down and made me feel horrible about myself. Me and Logan plan on getting married."
First, mom only wanted to help you find the best life possible for you, and I still don't understand what i ever have done to make you feel this way about me. Second your grammar is incorrect.
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