Broken Hearted Love {Book 2}

Chapter 16

“And I’m so quick to lose what was never mine to keep. And I cannot stand on what’s broken under me. And I don’t know how to forgive myself for everything. But I must learn to trust.” – Trust by Christina Perri

Chapter 16

Christy’s POV

I quietly closed the door behind her, waiting for her to speak. She fidgeted with her fingers and the bracelets dressed on her wrist, twisting them around and around. She was wearing her usual laid back style. She wore boyfriend-styled capris with a faded band t-shirt (a band I’d never heard of) tucked in the front but hanging out in the back. It was joined with a purple cardigan that hung down mid-thigh.

When she looked up at me, I could see the tears beginning to well behind her eyes. She looked like she was contemplating something inside her strawberry blonde–colored head. Oh. God. She knew it was me. She knows I killed her husband.

“Are you okay?” I asked, taking a step toward her. She didn’t say anything. She looked like she was on the verge of breaking down. She bit her lip, nodding frantically while her eyes left mine.

More and more guilt crept up my throat. I was the reason she was like this. She was so broken and I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes. She was such a happy and enthusiastic person, but now she was a mess, like she didn’t know which way was up and which way was down, like she didn’t know where she was going. She was lost without her husband; the husband I had killed.

“You wanted to talk…” I pushed, hoping she would say something and this wouldn’t be a game of me guessing what she wanted or needed.

“Umm, yeah,” Her voice was hoarse, like she hadn’t spoken in hours. “I wanted to come by to talk about the last time I saw you. I’m guessing you put the pieces of that day together?” A tear slid down her cheek.

I nodded. “I am sorry, Allison.” I meant that apology more than she knew. “I can’t imagine…”

Of course, my mind drifts to Harry. How would I feel if I found out he was brutally murdered by some sick woman who only did it for selfish reason? I would kill the bitch…

“Look, I’ve been contemplating coming down here for the past week.” She sat on the edge of the bed, pushing away the bunched up sheets. “I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to without being pitied. I didn’t come here for you to feel sorry for me. It’s not the first death I’ve had to handle. This one just hit a lot harder…” She trailed off.

I nodded for her to continue.

“I’ve never been a very social butterfly.” I looked at her like she had three heads. She wasn’t social? I would beg to differ by the way she treated me when I arrived that first night. “I never really found the need to have friends. I was happy being by myself. I had a daughter and a husband. Well, I did. He was always who I would talk to. He was my best friend and I didn’t need anyone else. A lot of people didn’t approve of Jim and I’s relationship. We had a ten year age gap, but I love him. You can’t help you fall in love with, right?” I nodded. I was afraid that if I tried to talk then I would full out confess to murdering her husband. I deserve to rot in a jail cell. Or maybe the electric chair will be better. Maybe I can give Allison the pleasure of killing me.

Allison continued to talk, knocking me back to shitty reality. “When you came by, asking me if I was okay and you could do anything, I didn’t know how to respond. I’ve never had anyone there for me. And having someone there that wasn’t my husband was… foreign.”

I sat down on the bed next to her, grabbing her hand in mine and giving her fingers a light squeeze. I felt a pull toward this woman since the moment I met her. I just wanted to deny it. I didn’t want another person that could be connected to me; another person that Charlie could take down as part of this vengeful game he was playing me in.