Its been a few weeks since my party. A few weeks since I got drunk and spilt my guts to Dreux. I told him I knew he was leaving. I told him not to go. I told him I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I poured my heart out and cried..He held me and rubbed my hair, thats it..That can only mean one thing, its happening and he cant do anything about it. He is leaving me and all I want to do is cry. He wont talk about that night, and I cant bring myself to mention it either. That would make it real, it would make it permanent. I'm not ready to give up on us yet. Not yet. I can't give up yet.
I am at home, laying in bed when I fee the mattress sink a little. Its him. He has done this everyday since that night. He comes over and doesn't say a word. He sits on my bed or holds me while I sleep. We haven't had sex since my birthday. We haven't talked about us since my birthday. He must be leaving soon, he spends more time here than he does at home. He is hurting, I can tell..Sometimes I wake up and he is just talking to me while I sleep. Telling me how sorry he is and how much he loves me and how he would go back in a heartbeat to fix this if he could. Its heartbreaking. I love him. I want him..and I lay here everyday watching his heart break a little more each day..I don't know what to do. I have to do something I can't take this anymore..
I roll over to face him. He is laying on his back, his eyes are closed. I can tell he isn't sleeping, he has bags und his eyes. I lay on his chest facing him. He tilts his head down to look at me, the pain in his eyes evident. "You are leaving soon I guess given your behavior." He doesn't look at me. "You cant avoid this forever Dreux. We have to talk about it. We need to make a plan. We need to decide where we will go from here. Unless you already have decided. This is it isn't it?? You are just going to leave me??" Anger flashes on his face. "I could never just leave you. If I didn't have to go then I wouldn't go. You know that Illianà." I turn away. "Yet you are leaving me. You are leaving. Why did you even start this in the first place!! You make me fall in love with you and you are just going to leave!! I hate you..I hate your stupid face and your stupid body. I hate that you made me love you and you are still leaving!!"
I am crying now. He grabs my waist and kisses the back of my neck. I try to pull away, but he holds on tight. He rolls me back over to face him. "I Love You Illianà. You know I didn't do this on purpose." I hit his chest. "YES YOU DID!! You decided to leave me. YOU did that not me." His face falls. "I couldn't take you being mad at me. I couldn't stay here and watch you be with that jackass. I couldn't bare to stay and see you angry at me. Ignoring and avoiding me....I am in love with you and that was too much for me to see everyday." He says while rubbing my back. "Then you should have fought for me!! You should have fought for us!! Instead you give up and decide to just leave?? Why did you have sex with me then?? Why would you do that if you were planning on leaving anyway!!!! You selfish bastard." I say as I punch and pound on his chest.
He is still rubbing my back and holding me tight, he doesn't let go. "You are angry and you have every right to be..I was planning on leaving on your birthday..I was going to leave you a present and a letter explaining why I did it. I was on my way back to my room after leaving that on your bed. when I went to get a drink & stumbled upon you in the dark that night. I didn't plan on that happening. I swear I didn't. I wouldn't intentionally make love to you and just leave you!! All I want is you. You are so beautiful and amazing on the the inside and out. I have loved you all my life, you mean the world to me. None of this was intentional mamii." He has tears running down his face. *He means every word. I know he would never hurt me on purpose. I know he loves me just as much as I love him.*
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I kiss him passionately and deeply. I kiss him with my entire soul. He kisses me with just as much intensity. I roll on top of him, without breaking our kissing and he sits up. I wrap my legs around his waist and lift his shirt over his head. He is sucking and kissing on my neck, causing me to moan. He takes off the shirt I am wearing, one of his shirts, and then realizes I am completely naked. He groans and lays me on my back then he strips off the rest of his clothes. I pull him back to me and kiss him again. He then kisses a trail from my lips to my neck, down my chest and stomach until he reaches the valley of nectar between my legs. He looks back up to my face as he begins licking and sucking on my love button. I break his gaze as moans escape my lips and I grip his hair and pull him deeper.
He never takes his eyes off of me as he takes me to my peak over and over. His tongue living on my G-Spot. "Look at me mamii. I want you to look at me while you cum.." I do as he asks and now I am staring into those beautiful eyes of his, which just fuels his eating. My eyes roll back in my head again. "Look at me mamii. Look at daddy while I make you cum." I am screaming and pushing away but he doesn't lose his grip on my waist. Now frustrated with all my running he pulls me back to him and lifts my ass off the bed. My feet above my head and my knees now near my face he continues his meal, now that I can't run he smirks. "Look at daddy while you cum!!" He is demanding now. I look deeply into his eyes as he continues pleasing my body in ways ive never experienced. The orgasms are getting more intense. I am staring into his eyes as he does things with his mouth that are other worldly. I am babbling incoherently now, my whole body is spasming and I can't tear my eyes away. His eyes are demanding the juices from my love canal..my body listens. I explode, my whole body in ecstasy. After slurping up every drop he places me back on the bed and then makes love to me all night long..but my mind is far away....
