Boyf riends One-Shots (BMC)

Everything about me is just terrible

Post Squip

"I'm the bad guy?" Jeremy shouted at his boyfriend.
"Yeah! You kinda abandoned me at that party, left me in the bathroom by myself to have a panic attack! You called me a loser and you really... hurt me," Michael said, defending himself. "Worst of all, you weren't even on the Squip when that happened! It wasn't in your mind. It was all you," his eyes began to water. Meanwhile, Jeremy just got angrier.
"That was not me, Michael. That was a fucked up version of me. I was drunkened, I had just been sexually assaulted and I had gone through months of physical abuse! I had been affected and I said some bitchy things, but that was not the real me! I thought you would understand that, Michael. You, my best friend, my boyfriend. I thought we had gotten past the stupid party. I thought we had gotten past the squipcident!" Jeremy's teeth were clenched, tears running down his cheeks, blurring his vision.

No one had understood the pain he had gone through. He hated himself for what he did to Michael, what he did to everyone. He felt that he was to blame for nearly destroying the entire student body. He had let his depression cloud his thoughts so much that he had taken some weird body-controlling robot drug. It was from Japan, what was he thinking?! He felt terrible. He felt like he didn't deserve Michael.

Michael stared silently, before saying,
"It... a-abused you?" The words were soft and quiet. Any trace that they were having an argument just dissipated as Jeremy nodded, and Michael managed to wipe his tears with his hoodie sleeve. Jeremy took off his shirt and turned around, to reveal scars. They looked like lightning coursing up his back.
"What did it do to you?" Michael whispered.
"Electrocuted me. If I slouched or masturbated or did basically anything wrong: zap." Jeremy said simply.
"I-I'm sorry... I didn't know," Michael said pulling in Jeremy for a hug.
"It's okay, Michael. Don't apologize, it's my fault. It always has been," Jeremy shook his head.
"It's not-"
"DON'T EVEN TRY!" Jeremy shouted, blinking back tears once more. "It is my fault! All of it! The blame is on me! I nearly fucking destroyed the school, maybe even the world! It's because I was flawed and needed help and I got it in the wrong way, the Squip fucking ruined everything. It's my fault, though, because I took it! I let myself get persuaded by Rich, I bought it, I did this to myself, I did it to you, I did it to everybody!" Jeremy shouted, not caring that Michael kept trying speak.
"Jeremy, this is not-"
"But it is!" Jeremy insisted. "Can't you see it! I'm a fucking mess and I couldn't handle it and I ruined everything. I don't deserve you. You probably don't even love me," Jeremy's head hung low, defeated.
"I love you. With all of my heart, Jeremy Heere. You are loved and appreciated by many, don't let yourself think otherwise. All that you did that was fucked up, was the Squip's fault. It's the fucking bad guy. You are not. You are good and-"
"Everything about me is just terrible," Jeremy mumbled.
"Everything about you is so wonderful. Please listen to me when I say this, you are great and I love you."

Jeremy hugged Michael's torso, leaning into him, still crying. Michael's hoodie dampened, but he didn't give a fuck. He smiled and wrapped his arms around Jeremy.

"I love you," he repeated, resting his head on top of Jeremy's.