Our ANZAC In The Attic

• Chapter 17 •

{ Angus Shearer }
The nights were the loneliest. You'd be laughing and playing black jack with your mates yet you feel so alone and lost. It wasn't just me that felt that way, we all did. Home was a thing of dreams, every now and then, if we were out somewhere like down the beach, we'd call the trenches home and we would fall quiet. They most certainly weren't home but they were the safest place on the peninsula.
I'd close my eyes and imagine laying on my lounge room floor, at 39 Baker Street, holding my son above my head and swirling him around the warm atmosphere and Lucy watching with the weight of the world off her shoulders. The laughter of all three of us bouncing from wall to wall. We smiled at thoughts like that because sometimes they were the only things keeping us alive.
My back rested against the trench wall as I sat in the dirt, my shirt off and my hat over my eyes. It must have been about 9 maybe 10 o'clock because it was dark, our small fire giving us a some light so we could see what was in front of us. I could hear Trig and Ollie sharpening their bayonets. Harry was leant against my shoulder, his head slouched forward and Frank was fiddling with the fire, its burning embers spiralling upwards into the starry Turkish sky.
It was a quiet night, the Turks weren't firing, the ANZAC's weren't firing and it was eerily peaceful.
"Do you think we'll be forgotten?" Trig asked quietly. I opened my eyes and Harry shifted slightly.
"Like I mean say in 100 years do you think they'll remember us?" Trig clarified. Slowly Harry and I sat up, "in 100 years they'll have flying cars, we will be totally forgotten," Harry stated lighting a cigarette.
"Na, they'll remember, they won't remember me but they'll remember you mob," I chuckled, securing my hat correctly on my head.
"You're the best sniper on Gallipoli they'll remember you mate," Ollie stated.
I shook my head, "what ever you say,"
The other boys laughed, "don't be so modest, you're a great bloke, you're an original Anzac and if they don't remember us then so be it," Harry smiled rising to his feet.
We left our conversation at that, mainly because we were lingering in the unknown. Eventually Harry feel asleep, then Ollie, then Trig and Frank and I was left, mind racing.
I watched as they slept, peacefully, believe me we hadn't slept peacefully since January. Their eyes would flicker every now and then and they would occasionally have an quiet murmur to themselves but at least they slept.
Sleep was precious, sometimes it was even more delightful than a letter. If a man was asleep you did not wake him, not even if it was an emergency.
Trig's question pondered in my mind, why would people want to remember a huge mistake? Why would Australia still remember a heap of naïve blokes who died for no real reason? Why wou-
My thoughts were interrupted by a voice, catching on the slight breeze that swiftly blew through our tatty hair. His voice was hoarse yet he sang sweetly.
"It's a long way to Tipperary, it's a long way to go," his voice gasped, his body laying somewhere in no-mans-land.
"It's a long way to Tipperary, to the sweetest girl I know," I chorused in return. I could see the smile on his face behind my closed eyes.
"Goodbye Piccadilly," he waited.
"Farewell Leicester Square!" I replied in tune.
"It's a long, long way to Tipperary, but my hearts right there," we sang together, his voice draining away.
Another soul knocked on heavens door that night and another mans voice became a distant memory. I tried my hardest to rest, to make my mind stop, but the harder I tried the more I worried. I came to a conclusion that I wasn't going to sleep so I went for a walk, wasn't sure where I was heading but my feet just started walking.
I ended up on the beach, my boots crunching in the sand beneath my feet. Salty water lapped at the shore and the stars glimmered in the foreign sky I sat under. Not a soul roamed the haunted beach but myself, I was tortured by my own thoughts.
People wouldn't remember us, we were far from important, we were butchers and bakers and shop keepers and shearers'. Why would they remember us if they haven't remembered anyone before?
I had an awful feeling in my gut that something even worse was going to happen tomorrow. I tried to forget about it but I couldn't.
"God, if you can hear me, please, please stop this," I murmured.
--
"Shearer bloody hell! He's down here boys!" Harry's voice echoed over the cove. I turned my weary head to face his, "have you slept?" he asked.
I shook my head, "couldn't," I said.
"You missed the order," Trig stated sitting down beside me.
"What order? It's 5 am?" I rebutted.
"7 actually mate," Ollie yawned.
"They've planned an attack on some place called Lone Pine or something," Harry explained, his voice sounding oddly shaky. I looked up at him in confusion, "that isn't till next week, I'm supposed to be stationed in No-Mans-Land in the pine trees," I stated.
"Shearer, it is next week," Frank swallowed. I rose to my feet, "well I need to get my act together," I laughed, the boys wouldn't be able to tell how broken I was. I secured my hat and began the trek back to the trenches. My mates followed close behind, "hey Shearer, you're alright aren't you?" Trig asked carefully.
"Yeah I'm alright, don't worry," I smiled softly.
Once we got to the trench, I began to load my gun. Each bullet had someone's name written on it and every time I loaded up the magazine I thought of a family somewhere just like mine.
"You're not really goin' into no-mans-land are you?" Ollie whispered in my ear.
"Yeah mate, but hey I'll be back I promise I'll be there helping you the whole way," I gripped his shoulders letting him know how serious I was.
Ollie's nervous face softened, "I can't loose you Shearer," he whispered.
I drew him into a tight embrace trying to calm the both of us down.
-
"You'll come and see us before you blokes leave yeah?" Harry clasped Frank's hand.
"Course we will," Frank replied.
Our smiles were brave, we were past the nervous stage, we were suddenly tenacious, naïve Australian soldiers, who were about to enter a war zone so dangerous only few would survive unscathed.
"Shearer! Get out there!" a sergeant yelled like it was a footy match. I blinked a few times processing what he'd just said, "well I'll see you blokes tonight," I shook Trig and Frank's hands.
"Seeya mate," the said in unison.
Harry pulled me into a hug, "just don't do anything stupid," he pulled away.
"Righto sweetheart," I slapped his back with a grin making him chuckle.
"I'll seeya soon," I told Ollie who was shaking in his boots.
"Goodluck Shearer," Harry waved as I started walking.
"LUCK?! I DON'T NEED LUCK!" I chorused as they disappeared from sight.