Ava and Addie

Chapter 8

From that point it went okay, for a while at least. It was now the three of us and not as much them and I, as it had been up to then. I remember their 25 anniversary like it was yesterday, the breakfast, their reaction to my present and my shock when i discovered they had hung it in the living room where it still is, the spa, how beautiful i looked and the dance in the evening, where dad and Alfonso and his dad took turns inviting Ava and I up for a dance.

That day will never be forgotten, so many joyful things happened and for once i didn't feel left out at all. It was the three of us, and we were an unbreakable team.

But something changed over the following few months that destroyed all of that trust they have gained from me.

It started 2 months after their anniversary, Ava started acting strange - her and Alfonso would go out late evening when they thought i was asleep. Sometimes i was spying on them, watching them disappear into the forest. And then in the morning they would simply lie and say they had been home all the time.

And then the kissing started, so passionate and so ignorant to me. They didn't do it to provoke me, in fact they tried to hide it from me - but yet again not doing a good job at it. At first i tried not to care, they were allowed to be lovers, right? But this feeling of being left out once again filled me with worry, and jealousy - but I couldn't tell if it was jealousy because of feelings for Alfonso or because I was jealous of Alfonso for spending so much time with Ava.

Boardingschools, summercamps, exchangeprograms - all options crossed my mind, also running away. Not that anyone knew what I had been thinking. I kept it all hidden away in a diary where I had written all the costs, destinations, special info about the programs and so on. It destroyed me being around them, having to smile and act like i was good, when in reality i felt so alone. I had no friends beside them. I had no one to go to.

We still had family in Texas. Family that we rarely see. But maybe they could take me in for a while? 

Ava changed completely, she went from a teen to an adult. She was no fun anymore, so serious all the time. She started acting like an older sister instead of what she is, my twin - supposed equal. Alfonso and he would drive me insane with their little family play acting as if i was their little teenager who needed help with everything. Alfonso would still hold my hand, actually more than before. But the odd thing was that so did Ava.

Where Alfonso was overprotective before and Ava was my 'equal' if you can say that, they now shared the position of overprotective crazy people treating me like a child.

*

I took my runners on and made it for the door, only to be stopped my Alfonso and Ava running down the stairs. "where are you going this late?" Alfonso questioned, already showing dislike for what he supposedly didn't know - guess he didn't take a look at my outfit or my running shoes. I guessed that would have been enough clues for him to figure. Guess i was mistaken. 

Lately i have been very irritated with them, and i started to show my frustration with them. Why the lies? why the secrets? i thought we were a team.

"Just going for a run, i'll be back in 20" I said quickly and grabbed the handle to make a leave, but failed as Alfonso stepped forward and blocked the door for me, he took a deep breath "not tonight" he breathed heavily. I didn't feel like arguing, i simply tried to open the door with him there - a useless move, but i hoped he would give up and let me go.

But he didn't. It was stupid of me to even think that would work.

"Addie, it's too late, we can go for a run in the morning" Ava tried to lighten the mood by compromising - and honestly it was tempting, the word WE, made me consider giving in. Ava running with me? not seen before, and not something i expected to see ever.

It wasn't that late. It was dark, yes. But I would easily be able to find my way through the forest. It would be okay. Mom and dad would have let me go. But for whatever reason Alfonso had, he wouldn't let me go out.

"You can go tomorrow" Alfonso said simply, it wasn't harsh or anything. But it was enough to anger me.

The anger building up was not just from this very moment of being denied access outside. But it was this time i showed all my anger to them and did the worst thing possible. And i wish i could have handled it way better than i did. 

It went so fast but it is with no doubt one of my worst memories that I have with them. "Why do you suddenly care, all you care about is Ava?" I shouted at Alfonso, showing him my frustration. Alfonso stared at me with surprise and anger, I never raise my voice like that, and never to him.

"Addie?" He tried to reason with me, but i did the worst thing possible.I started to cry, tears running down my cheeks. And then i ran upstairs to my room. I slammed the door shut and sat down in front of the door, afraid that one of them would be coming up to face me and then i just continued crying. It was stupid. I showed weakness to them. And that is what i regret the most. I showed them that they had hurt me and I was very affected by their actions.

I felt angry with myself for not being stronger.