Ava and Addie

Chapter 4

Ava and Addie 15, Alfonso 19

Every year on our birthday we got the same. 14 years old and still the same every year. And never something that I really wished for. We had matching everything. Two of each. Except Tommy.

I still had Tommy and Tommy meant so much to me, even though Ricco is long gone.

That bear held my dearest secrets. I had started to learn words, or wanting to. I would write as much as possible to practice and put the small paper folds into the back of the bear. It broke many years ago, but I found a solution.

This was our birthday, morning song, Alfonso at the door with parents and as always identical presents. I wanted to move, that was all I wanted. I wanted to go somewhere where Ava and Alfonso weren't. I want to be just Addie. Not Ava's twin.

Alfonso placed the presents on each of our beds, this was an odd present, it was flat. Ava as usual ripped the wrapping paper off before i even got the chance. She held the picture that was inside the wrapping paper up in confusion. It was just a picture of a palm tree and a yellow and red flag.

I opened mine and like usual, the exact same. I shared a confused look with Ava. "We are going to Spain" Alfonso cheered. I stared at him in shock as Ava jumped in his arms and let him swing her around.

"Spain?" I asked in confusion, he put her down still holding her in his arms and smiled at me, "We are going to Europe babe" he cheered and neared me giving me a side hug. That was the first time he called me babe and that was the weirdest present ever. I didn't want to go to Spain, or I did, but not with them.

*

That evening Alfonso had most of his friends over,m. It was our birthday, but since Ava and Alfonso are so close, many of them are her friends now too. As for my friends... which friends. Everyone I even say hi to is checked by Alfonso. Why bother?

Alfonso was in the pool, Ava was sitting on the edge having her feet in the water and a drink in hand, non-alcoholic I surely hope. Alfonso's friends, were throwing with a ball in the water. That is all they are to me. Alfonso's friends. It is like everything he touch becomes his.

Alfonso placed himself between Ava's legs and leaned forward as she leaned down. But as a loud splash is made by Alfonsos friends in the pool, they put their attention on me.

Were they going to kiss? "Addie" they both acknowledge me. I just nod towards them.

I sit beside Ava by the pool. Alfonso standing between us leaning against the edge.

Alfonso gets this look in his eyes and the next thing I know I am in the pool clinging to him gasping for air, yelling at him to stop, but i end up swallowing the poolwater and I feel panic rise and I try desperately to grab onto him. To something. I feel pressure on my overbody and then I am pulled up to the surface.

I am sure it all just happened in a second but to me it felt like minutes. Minutes of darkness. Minutes of death. I cough with no ending and see all eyes are on me. Water gets out my mouth and I feel like I am going to live.

Alfonso is leaning over me looking deadly worried and Ava is by my side repeating my name over and over again in a teary voice.

I try to sit up but Alfonso pushed me back down. "Let go of me" cry out hysterically, the tears running freely, as I feel embarrassment and anger take over me.

Here I am laying at my birthday party unable to survive a pool at a pool-party.

All eyes on me. "Addie" Alfonso says pleadingly trying to say more but I interrupt him by pushing him harder and getting up.

He tried to grab me but I shake him off and storm inside hearing him run after me and her, my sister, following.

Mom and dad sat by the dining table with a cup of coffee talking casually, but when they see me they immediately turn their full attention to me.

"Leave me alone" I cry hysterically to Ava and Alfonso and run up the stairs.

I realize that I can't go to my room since it is more like our room. And therefore they will come. So I continue to run up the stairs to the attic and I slam the door shut and sit down and holds my legs to my chest and let it all out.

*

"Addie please let me in" Alfonso pleads as he tries to open the door for the 100th time. "I am so sorry" he sounds so heartbroken "I didn't mean to hurt you, please let me in so we can talk about this".

Talk... we can talk about this... not now.

"Please, you will get sick in there, I promise I will not do anything. I just want to make sure you are okay" he continued. It was stupid to think that I could stay in the attic forever, especially as wet as I am in this cold room.

I opened the door and even though Alfonso and Ava both were standing on the other side of the dooor waiting for me, I rushed pass them into the bathroom and took a warm shower as I cried some more. It hurt that someone that I care about would do that to me.

I went to bed and even though I felt Ava's eyes bore into my side I didn't bother to look at her. I just laid down looking the opposit direction, staring into the white wall and turned the lights off.

That night I didn't sleep much. I was so embarrassed and mad at the same time. And the trip to Spain haunted me, would they even notice me there or would I be all alone. Again. A lone tear fell from my eye, they had broken me.

I rarely showed emotions, at all actually. But here I was in bed crying silent tears. Even though not much escaped my eye, my heart hurt so much that I felt like choking.

*

The next morning was even worse than the day before, mom had made breakfast, gotten up early in the morning to bake and everything. So we all had to sit together around the table eating, chatting, everything you do eating together.

Ava was already at the table with mom and dad when I got down. "Good morning sweetheart" mom greeted me as I sat down beside her, she placed a kiss on my temple.

This was not a normal gesture, but this was undoubtedly to make sure that I was okay after everything that happened yesterday. No matter how hard I try, I can't get that out of my head.

I gave her a smile, nothing more, nothing less. Ava's stare bore into me, but I refused to look at her. I guess she didn't do anything really, but how can my sister know so little about me. I lost her completely. The only thing we share is our looks. We are identical twins after all, no matter how I dress or style my hair we just look like the same person.

Of course Alfonso showed up just as we started eating, he looked at me intently, but I avoided his gaze.

Mom, to no ones surprise, invited Alfonso to join us and he, of course, insisted on sitting between me and Ava at the end of the table.

Alfonso tried to make small talk and get me talking, Spain was a popular subject this morning.

Me going alone with the two of them? I have no doubts they will have a blast.Everything I dream of is a vacation to a pool resort with people who likes to keep me on the sideline. Note the sarcasm.

Everytime I was asked something I simply smiled a little or nodded my head yes or no, or shrugged my shoulders.

I tried not to keep eye-contact and instead I focused on the delicious bread mom had baked this morning.