13th Doctor Preferences

When She Can't Let You Go (Part Three)

Dear Y/N,

I can't apologise enough but I can't let you go. Not in the way you want me to. I can't.

I miss you. No, scrap that, I yearn for you to be here. I need you here beside me. I need your comforting figure beside me at night. Y/N, I miss your lips. I miss your beautiful eyes. I miss your perfect smile. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Y/N, I'm lost without you. I am. I am wandering aimlessly through this dull world. You gave me purpose and now you're not here. I wish you were. I need you here. I am dying without you and yet, you were dying inside when you were with me.

We're a doomed paired. Star-crossed some might say. You were my light on those darkest of days. The sun rays that kept me warm when I felt cold. And still my life revolves around you. I am spiralling further and further off course without you here. If only I hadn't been your darkness in those moments. I left you feeling empty and alone.

You write that I'm your drug, well you're mine. Every waking hour, you're in my thoughts. You haunt my mind but I gladly accept your ghost because at least in those moments of pain and remembering, you're with me. A figment of my imagination that inflicts the most painful of joys. You're a dangerous euphoria. I'm addicted to you.

But it's my fault that you're elsewhere now.

It's time for us to move on. To go our separate ways. I promise not to write to you again. You need time to heal and so do I. These letters aren't helping either of us. Even when I'm not in your vicinity, I'm still causing you pain. I promise to stop. I've hurt you enough and please know I won't ever forgive myself for that.

Perhaps one day we will meet again. Our paths may meet and we'll be two different people. You will be loved and I will no longer be the monster I am. Perhaps we will even be able to be friends. Although never lovers, I know that you'll never give me the key to your heart again. I don't deserve it.

Give it to someone who does.

You can keep my heart, Y/N. It's the least I can give you after everything I've done.

We'll speak again one day, my angel and it will be under very different circumstances. We'll both be happy.

Your Doctor

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A/N: Hmm, I wonder what Part Four will contain?