Guilt ~ A Linstead FF

Chapter 4

<< Erin's POV >>

"Hank, I..I..I don't know, I don't wanna leave all of you. You all made my life better and now I feel like I'm abandoning you all. I've never had such a great time in my life than working at Intelligence. They were my family, they ARE my family. It's just.. I'm gonna miss them so much, I don't know what I'll do without them."

"Look,kid. I know what it's like, waking up to an empty bed. When Camille was gone, I couldn't face it. I just..kept thinking.. that she'll come one day and show up at my door, looking for me. I know what happened between you and Halstead, the next day after it happened, he came into my office and said he has made the biggest mistake someone could have ever done. He told me about his 'wife' and told me that it all ended 8 years ago, but Abby used the divorce papers excuse just to get back to him. He told her that she deserves the best in the world, but he can't be the one who gives it to her. She turned her down, Erin. Just for you. He is madly in love with you. I can say about you the same, even if you deny it. I always wanted you to be and to feel loved, and Jay is a hell of a good guy. I don't care what your guys' realtionship status is, but trust me. He always has your back 24/7 and if he wouldn't, believe me, he would be at the bottom of the river. But that's not gonna happen. Because he loves you. He will always love you."

To be honest, Hank's
speech kinda made me cry a little. I never thought he would be such an emotional guy. He's trying to act all tough, but he has a soul.

"Thanks, Hank. I always knew you were my rock and that I could always count on you. Thank you. For everything. Really. I wouldn't be here if you wouldn't have had such a good heart.I owe you a lot,but I only bring trouble. That's what I've been my whole life. And I'm sorry for that. I wish I could go back to Intelligence, and I regret what I did. I don't know, I just.. I was really angry and I don't know why. It's like.. a wave of anger was radiating around me. I haven't had the best of mornings that day, I didn't feel really well and I guess I was a bit..sad?mad?angry?nauseous? I don't know. But anyways, I'm gonna go to my apartment to pack some things. You wanna help?"

"I don't know, I'm not really in the mood, but I know someone who would surely like to help." Hank said.
I'm pretty sure I know who he's talking about, but I don't mind. I'd rather have a beer than pack some clothes, you know? I have to talk to him anyway.
I hear the doorbell ringing and open the door.
"Hi Ja- Kim?? What are you doing here?" I say,surprised.
"Nice to see you too. We gotta talk. Like, now."
"Ooook? What about?"
"So, Voight told me you were feeling sick, right?" Kim asked.
"Umm, yeah, I think I got a bug or something, I keep throwing up every morning. Why?"
"Are you late?"
"Umm,what? Y- you are not assuming I'm pregnant, are you? Oh..oh my god. What if I am? What if I will actually have a kid? How am I going to tell the guys? How am I going to tell Hank? How am I going to tell Jay? Ho-"
"Ok,ok, stop. I'm not saying you are, this is just precaution. That's why I brought this" says Kim as she gets a pregnancy test out of her bag.
"Wait, why do you have a pregnancy test in your purse?"
"You never know Erin, you never know." she says,smirking.

~~~~~~~

"Alright, so, if it's positive, it shows 2 lines, right?" I ask Kim, behind the bathroom stall.
"Yep. Come on, don't be so scared. I mean, if I were you, I would've done the same thing but you gotta be brave. You're better than me."
"Oh. My. God." I said, yelling every word louder than the one before.
"What? What happened? Is everything OK? says Kim opening the door, not caring if I'm half-naked or not.
"Look for yourself." I say as I hand Kim the pregnancy test.
"Oh god"