Dont You Want Me? Levi x Reader BOOK 2

Chapter 2 - Scrabbling Around in the Dark

The world seemed to turn to grey as his words echoed around in your mind Nothing, She is Nothing! If you had been so shocked you probably would have stormed after him and demanded that he explain himself, but the whole scenario had left you completely at a loss. What the heck was going on? What had forced this change in him? Surely things hadn't gotten so bad that he would find someone else? 

Managing to find your feet again, you shuffled out into the courtyard, the wind was blowing furiously, cutting through you like icy fingers with razor sharp nails. You looked around, luckily no one else was around apart from the cadets sorting out the horses after their journey. You had nowhere specific that you needed to be, yet you found yourself wandering towards the little thicket of trees that you had come accustomed to going whenever you felt down. 

Sitting down by your favourite tree your eyes glazed over, inside the gentle part of you was crying, your innocent self holding desperately onto the remnants of your broken heart. A little over the top? Possibly, but it was a blow that you never thought that you would have to experience.  Of course, there must be a rational reason for the way he was, yet, you couldn't work out why he would not even entertain the idea of seeing you. Anyone would think you were a mere annoyance to him, rather than his lover, or maybe that's all you were to him. No. That couldn't be right, he had said he loved you and that wasn't something you would have imagined that Levi would say to get what he wanted.

You furrowed your brow as you tried anything and everything to work out why. Why would he be like this? Who was that woman? Sadness gave way to anger, adrenaline beginning to surge through your veins. What the fuck was he playing at? How dare he! Standing up again you grabbed your field knife that Jean had given you for your birthday and threw it at the tree opposite you, as it hit its target with a satisfying thwack! Lex appeared next to the tree, eyeing it with distaste that it could have been his head.

"I take it you are annoyed Kotenok? At the tree? I think it does nothing to you!" Lex quipped when he saw the raw anger in your eyes. Taking hold of the knife, he pulled it from its embedded position in the wood and tapped the blade in his hand, walking closer to you. "I take it has to do with Darcy, No?" He raised an eyebrow, he always knew.

"He didn't want to see me!!!" You growled in response, your words drenched with seething bitterness. Your companion raised his hand in a motion to stop you from speaking again, only when he saw you relent did the hand sweep through his crimson hair, and with the other passed you the knife he had retrieved. "Lex... What is going on?" You mumbled, begrudgingly placing the blade back in its sheath on your belt.

"I had cadet looking for you. He told me that Darcy did not want to see you nor have you in room. I came to find you after, I knew you would be like this. Nor can I blame you." He paused, furrowing his own brows, obviously trying to figure out what it could possibly mean. "I am surprised you did not throw something at him, I take you watched him?

"Yes." You answered simply. "They seemed unusually familiar with each other."

"Hmmm. This poses problem. I do not understand it. Did you see woman?" Lex leaned on a tree not far from you and shook his head.

"No, from whatever place I stood, I didn't get a good look at her. If I had have done I probably would have thrown my knife at her face." Your hand twitched over the hilt of the blade again, wishing you had done so, hindsight was a bitch. You sighed, your breath still weighted with anger and irritation.

"I do not think that would be good idea. You need to find out why he doesn't want to see you. Storming to office is too obvious, and likely to be turned away. We need to see who woman is, this is priority. It should not be too hard to work out, we are bound to see them around here at some point. Come, I have some whiskey that has your name on it. Let us calm those nerves." Lex was right as usual, and a stiff drink was definitely needed. 

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Getting information about the Woman was actually more difficult than you and Lex realised. No one had seen her, other than the few that were in the courtyard when Levi had arrived, let alone had information about her. In addition to this Levi was no where to be seen either, it was like they had both vanished, apart from the fact that the door to his room was permanently locked. You had tried to speak to Erwin who had pretty much denied her existence, and wouldn't say a word on the subject. The present cadets knew absolutely nothing either, they had not been able to catch much of a glimpse of her with her hood covering most of her face. You and Lex had to face the fact that you weren't getting anywhere. 

"Hey you!" Eren sat down next to you in the mess hall, food in hand as you played with your meal on the plate with no intention to eat it. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, knowing that there would be no watchful eyes of Captain Douchebag around to get angry at you. You knew this, and in any other situation you would have told him to back off, but you didn't have the energy. 

"Hey." You answered without any enthusiasm. 

"Oh come on (f/n) you know, its not such a great loss. If he is gunna treat you like this, then he isn't worth it. We all know what a bastard he can be, it was only a matter of time before he finally started back to being his usual self." You shot him a dark look, an 'I told you so'  was really not needed right now. He removed his arm in response and looked a little sheepish. "Sorry, I know you liked him." The look in his eyes made you sigh, he was only trying to help at the end of the day. 

"Its okay Eren. I appreciate what you are trying to do. I just I don't know what to do, its been days, and I haven't heard a thing from him. Its worse than him being away. If it continues, I might just go back to the city, if he doesn't want me here, I may as well not be here." Eren's face changed to a look of urgency at your reply, his eyes panic-stricken. 

"No! No! Don't leave! This place isn't his, you have as much of a right to be here as him! Don't let him force you out! I will- All of us will miss you. Just look what we did to get you back! Please don't leave, I don't know what I will do, if I knew you weren't here to welcome me home." His cheeks turned pink as he spoke, and you would have prodded him for more information, if your table hadn't been crowded by your group of friends.

"LEAVE?!" You heard the chorus object to the idea as they sat down. You couldn't get a word in edge-ways as every single one laid out reasons for you to stay and that Levi was a twat. There was no way in hell you were leaving, you would have to stay there for all time, according to the consensus.

"Hes a fucking idiot if he doesn't want you!" Jean declared with zeal. "I would happily stand in for him!" You looked at him opened mouthed until Sasha punched him in the arm, they blatantly had a thing going on after their trip together to the city, though neither of them would admit it. That punch was another heads up that you were right. You felt Eren's hand snake around your waist and rest gently on your hip. You eyed Eren cautiously, and he gave you an innocent grin, you both knew he was taking advantage of the situation but if you were honest you needed the comfort of arms around you.

"So have you found anything else out?" Armin asked warily, with a sad smile at the corner of his mouth. You shook your head, you had employed the help of your friends to see if they could gather any information about Levi and the Woman. "No me either, I think its been quiet on that front. No one has seen hide or hair of them.

"Same. Usually Hanji is a great source of information once you get her talking but she doesn't know a thing either. Could it just be part of a secret mission?" Mikasa added in her usual monotone timbre.

"I highly doubt it. Erwin would have said as much to Lex at least, I'm too involved but he isn't. Its like scrabbling around in the dark." You shrugged.

"Unless Erwin doesn't know about it." Sasha added quietly. Everyone looked around at her in realisation, no one had thought of that. It was highly unlikely, but there was a chance, Levi hadn't really spoken to Erwin, much less taken orders from him since his return from the city, their relationship was strained at best. The table was quiet as everyone thought about what Sasha had said. The silence, even though there was noise all around you, was just too distracting to you.

"Right." Getting up from the table you straightened your jacket. "I need to meet Lex for our evening run, I'll see you in a bit." Everyone seemed a little surprised to see you get up so quickly, but you just wanted to get away from the conversation. You placed a hand on Eren's shoulder, and he looked at you with interest. "I'll come and find you later, we can chat then.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked, trying to hide the smile on his lips. You shook your head in response and gave the rest of your friends a departing wave as you walked out of the hall. As much as you wanted to find out what was going on, there was a part of you that was petrified of knowing the answer.

You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your trousers, the temperature drop from the hall to the corridor was like walking into a freezer. Your eyes were trailing along the floor when you heard a singular echo of footsteps further down the hallway. Before you could stop yourself you looked up and there he was, Levi.

He looked tired, but emotionless as usual. Seeing him made your heart race and your body began to tremble as you kept your pace. You longed for him to push you up against the wall, for him to show you how much he had missed you, yet there was no indication that was going to happen. You were a couple of metres away from him, when you caught him glance at you, but there was nothing; no flash of emotion or even recognition to let you know that it all wasn't a dream.

His eyes darted back, and he kept on walking, not a word to you, as if you weren't even there.  As he passed you, you had to stop yourself from reaching out to gab his arm, make him acknowledge you, it took everything you had, your eyes still focused on him, your eyes large and filled with tears. You stopped, and listened as he walked away.

"Levi..."