Dont You Want Me? Levi x Reader BOOK 2

Part 9 - Mistaken Memories

Part 9


"She has been asleep for days Levi, I am worried, medics should be allowed to see her. You have no right to cage her up like this. I am brother." Lex stated angrily, his vocal inflexions becoming more pronounced as his temper rose.

"I know that. The medics have been taking care of her, as have I. There is no point you seeing her as she is still comatose." Levi answered, sighing as he did so. "I do not see why we are arguing over such a petty matter. You will know once she is awake."

"To you, it is petty, but she is family to Alexei," he replied crossing his arms, he was not going to give in either. "Not only have you stopped me seeing her, you have not told of details of what is going on. Put end to this Levi, before she ends up dead!"

Levi paused and sighed, this conversation wasn't going anywhere nor was it going away. Sadly for him, Lex wasn't the type to be pushed about, verbally or physically. The glare he was being given from those cold green eyes were familiar to him, not the colour parse but the unrelenting stubbornness that he had often seen staring back at him in the mirror. Could he honestly blame Lex for the way he was being? No, he couldn't. As always he had acted with the utmost respect and diligence when it came to her, she was always in the forefront of his mind and he had no hesitation in showing it.

The same could not be said for Levi; people often read his actions as cold and callous, but it couldn't have been further from the truth. He protected her the only way he knew how. Yes, to others he had given her the hard shoulder, barely acknowledged her existence and more than likely hurt her deeper than any information he could ever possibly give her. He had struggled with it from the beginning, his way of saving her was pushing her out of the way of danger, sometimes to the point where she would get hurt and not see him the same way again. Time and time again, they fell into the same trap.

He scoffed at himself internally, it was ironic, the person that he cared for most in this world, he kept at arm's length. If anything, pushed her to the edge, the borderline between love and hate, yet even still he could not speak the words that would release her from her cage that teetered half between this world and the next. It was not he that had set the wheels in motion, but he had most definitely kept them spinning. He had found himself leant against his desk, arms folded over his chest, his eyes carelessly staring at the floor and in that moment he vowed that he would never be that man again, he would strive to be more like the one she called her brother.

"Then I will tell you, but you must not say a word until she is ready and well enough to hear it," Levi muttered. His explanation wasn't anywhere near ready, but circumstances had forced his hand, he had to offer the information now for fear that he could easily lose her forever this time.

"Then I shall listen. Tell me all." Lex offered simply.

_________________

Dreams of your mother in the emerald green fields, smiling and laughing plagued your unconscious mind. This was the time you were happiest, where the threat of Titans was far too far-fetched for a child of that age. Where even though your life was in a gilded cage, it was good; your parents were in love, you had your sister with rosy cheeks, orb-like eyes of blue that reminded you of the lake just beyond and when she looked at you in awe, you just couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again. Your mother granted both of you with the same eyes of her own, the three of you like peas in a pod; so the villagers used to say in passing.

As you drifted in and out of consciousness, the images in your mind changed to those of a darker time. The shouting between your parents, the way that you and your sister hid under the bed with your covers, holding each other tight in hope that it would stop. Praying for it to finally stop, by the time it did, you were found huddled together, arms wrapped around each other, sleeping soundly.

The sound of a bottle smashing, just like that fateful night, was what finally made your eyes flutter open, even though the world around you seemed to still be underwater, your vision was blurred, and your hearing, like whispers through a keyhole. You could hear thumping as if someone was walking around the room, and within moments, aware of your alertness, they finally drew closer. You felt a hand touch yours, instinct made you flinch, but your eyesight was still not improving. Blinking again, you strained to look at the face of the person who was beside you, disbelief left you dumbfounded.

"Mo...mother...?" You croaked, your voice cracked and horse from a dry throat. You heard a giggle, it chimed in the air, just like in your memories, but your mother was dead. You rubbed your eyes, you must still be dreaming.

"No, you silly bean." You heard the giggle again, even though muffled, you felt like you were in some strange nightmare where your past was melded with modern day. "Now lay back down and rest. You have been through an awful lot over the past few days. Rest, your body is still healing." Everything told you not to, but this apparition of your mother was definitive in making sure you laid back down again. Maybe she was right, maybe you would wake up after this and everything would be back to the way it was.

The sound of the door opening and footsteps from several people could be heard intertwined between with the quiet babble of those now in the room talking. There was no making out what they were saying in the state that you were in, only that the tones were hushed and agitated. You had closed your eyes, hoping for once you next opened them you would be able to see with the vision you once had. Maybe you drifted back to sleep, or your senses had ceased due to the whirlpool of emotions and pain you were in, none of which you could be sure of.

You felt the warm caress of a rough hand, large and scarred, there was no doubt who it belonged to. Another of these large hands brushed your forehead proceeded by a gentle kiss.

"Kotenok. You are awake." Your hearing was adjusting to the new sounds and the deep timbre of Lex's voice, it was by far the most comforting thing you had heard since you had awoken. "Thank the angels that you are still with us. You scared me, little one." Your eyes fluttered open, even though the hope of your vision returning to normal had not be granted, there was no mistaking the mass of red hair of the man who knelt down by the side of your bed. Without any hesitation, you sat up and flung your arms around him and nuzzled into his neck, the pain was all too real but it was more than justified for the comfort you were now being given. There was one person who could give you stability in this neverending storm and that was Lex.

"Lex... I... I.. " You gushed urgently, so glad for his presence.

"Now, now. I am not going anywhere." He embraced you gently, as always, worried about your frailty after your accident. He pulled you away so he could look at you. "Hush now. We have a lot to discuss". He leant his lips to your ear and whispered. "As much as I want to stay, I think Mr Darcy would like to talk alone. Listen to him. Do not jump down throat." You frowned at him when he pulled away and all he did was nod. He helped you sit up in bed, leaving you alone in the now empty room.

You didn't know how to feel about speaking to Levi, you weren't sure that you wanted to. There was so much going on in your head, and your love life was hardly the most important thing at this moment in time. The revelation of going back to your home was now lost in the shattered memory that your accident had caused. You could remember everything, near enough up until that point, but the moments before your fall was a mystery to you. You heard the telltale thud of his boots on the wooden floor, and your breath hitched in your throat. There was no doubt you loved this man, even the sound of his rigid walking made you smile, that grin creeping to the corners of your mouth. If Lex was right, who were you kidding, Lex was always right, you would need to find it in yourself to forgive him. For if Lex thought that Levi was worthy of redemption, then it was just possible that under all the crap, he had had good intentions all along.

"Levi..." You uttered, but the words were pushed aside when you saw Levi's face. It was anguished, his eyes tainted by some horrid thoughts or visions he had had. It would be far too easy to say that it was written on his face, but in this case, it truly was. His brow was furrowed as if dealing with an anguish that you had yet to determine; it reminded you of the time at the outpost where he had treated your wounds. The wall had come down ever so slightly that day, giving you a chance to peek inside the stoney facade, but that was nothing in comparison to the man sitting beside you.

"Don't say anything. I do not deserve anything but anger towards me. I have acted like shit to you." He paused, looking you in the eyes somewhat forlornly. "Please don't look at me like that. I don't deserve your pity.... I just wanted to explain-" This was enough for you, without thinking, and interrupting the speech he had obviously deliberated over, you slapped him hard across the face. Initially, he was shocked but his gaze fell, knowing he should have expected it. "I'm sor-"

Again you interrupted him, this time you reached out and pulled him to you, placing a kiss on his lips. Nothing could describe the feeling of being this close to him again, feeling his skin under your fingertips and the softness of his lips against yours. It drew tears to your eyes, all the pent-up emotion, the hate, the betrayal the sadness, was all summed up in that one kiss. Levi, who was rigid at first, placed his hand on your cheek and kissed you more passionately than he had ever done. Whatever emotions were running through the both of you were being let out in this kiss, unspoken but all the while, saying so much more than words could express.

When you both pulled away for breath, you rested your foreheads together, unsure of what to say. You both seemed to be failing in forming a sentence or to sum up what had happened between the both of you. What could you say? Even though there was so much anguish and hurt, there was no doubt that there was love. It had been the driving force that had rendered you both pretty much inseparable, the events that had transpired had weaved the stitching between your hearts irrevocably together. It was Levi who spoke first, though his voice trembled, a welcomed change to his harsh tones.

"I do not deserve you, all I have done is hurt you and yet you still find it in your heart to.. for the want of a better word, forgive me." He gave a sad smile. "You are by far the most inspiring person I have ever met.... Stupid...." You punched his arm as you pulled away, giving him a scowl and he chuckled under his breath. "No... wait. Stupid but fearless, you have this way of always striving to do what is right. The stupid part is because you always seem to get into trouble."

"Hmm... I think there is a compliment in there somewhere." You shrugged, but you couldn't shift the little smile that you tried to hide. Your throat was so dry, and your voice spoke volumes of your hydration. "Could you possibly get me a drink? I feel like I haven't drunk in weeks." He nodded, giving your hand a squeeze before walking to the counter and pouring you a glass of water. You played with your hands, after this declaration of love, well, not in so many words, you still needed to know. "Levi. You must tell me what is going on." He stopped what he was doing and put the jug on the dresser with a thud, staring out of the window.

"I am not sure you are ready to hear what I know." He said after pausing for a few moments. "You have only just regained consciousness, you may still be too weak to hear it."

"You have got to be kidding me?!" You responded incredulously. "Bring that bloody water over here, let me drink it and fucking tell me. You cant hide it from me any further!" Your voice cracked and you internally growled, glaring at him. So much for the loving feeling you had just felt, it was instantly replaced with anger. Levi huffed and bought you the drink in which you drank deeply, feeling your throat relax at the introduction of the liquid. You stared up at him with hard eyes, he had to tell you now after that kiss, he had to tell you, otherwise, it would all have been a lie.

"You are still in your night clothes. Get dressed first." He commanded.

"I don't have to get dressed, you have no right to tell me what to do." You retorted icily.

"No, you are right." He confessed sounding defeated. "But I think you might want to, lets just put it that way." Scowling at him, you bit your cheek and conceded, you motioned towards your clothes, which Levi bought to you and walked over to the window, letting you dress without his prying eyes. It was harder than you had thought, your body hurting in all manner of ways that you had never thought possible. After about five minutes you were sat on the newly made bed, fully clothed, hair tamed and ready for what he was going to tell you.

"Go on then. I'm ready. Why all the secrecy?" You demanded, even though your head was killing you and your back felt broken, you needed to hear what he had to say.

"Before I start, I just want to say something." He paused hearing your impatient sigh. "I did what I did because I needed to be sure. You understand that right?" Levi turned to you, locking eyes with you, with that gaze, you knew he was finally going to come out with it and you nodded staying quiet for him to continue, even if you wanted to interrupt him. "I did not want to show you something that due to bad information would break you and turn out to be nothing. This was also the reason why I had to shut you out. I couldn't have you catching wind of what I had discovered until the time was right and I was sure."

"Get to the point Levi. You've never been the one to beat around the bush, come out with it already." You hastened. Levi sighed at your ever-growing impatience and walked towards the closed door.

"Fine. Then it is probably best that I just show you." He opened the door and motioned for whoever was outside to come in.

It was the Woman. Your mouth was left agape, yes you had seen her before in passing, and she seemed familiar, but this was far too surreal. Had this been the person that you thought was a dream? Gingerly you stood up and walked over to her. She stood there motionless, as if a statue, no word uttered from her mouth as you walked around her inspecting her as if she were a new acquisition. You stopped in front of her, still unsure as to why this person was meant to be something to hide. How you had managed to get this person confused with your mother was anyone's guess, this woman didn't have the beautiful chestnut-brown locks that your mother had, maybe it was the daydream of someone who had been concussed that would find the similarity. Yet, it wasn't the woman's hair colour that caught your eye, even though it was yellow like the rays of the sun, no, it was her eyes. The same thing that had caught you when you met in the hallway, for that brief moment the familiarity of those eyes.

Those big blue eyes.........

Like nothing before had anything standing before you been so wonderous and so frankly terrifying in the same instance. The fact that the impossible was standing right before you, left you feeling like the floor would fall from under you... not the first time mind you... You stumbled back, caught by the arms of Levi who steadied you. Tears filled your eyes as your mind went through the motions of shock...

"G..gwen....?" You stuttered. The woman in front of you smiled and offered her arms out to you, eyes full of tears.

When your whole world crashed around you that day, when you lost everything, nothing in your wildest dreams, would ever have prepared you for finally seeing this person alive.... Gwen... your sister.