Cover: your cover is a little bland, try getting something more dark and busy.
Description: In your description, refrain from using "&" because it shows laziness and you don't want the readers to have that impression. Also, always end your sentences with a period. Without that, your description is short and to the point, adding curiosity, but it doesn't really tell the readers what your story is about.
Chapter One: I don't not see the point as to why you have stars after every paragraph but I guess that makes your book different from other mystery books. Also, refrain from using a lot of parenthesis in your book because it kind of makes you a little confused as to why there are so many parenthesis in one little paragraph. Your chapter lengths were short, however, it was simple and straight to the point.
I like how you had brought in a photo when talking about the DEA but I've noticed something. You have been starting sentences off with "but" and "and" which is a very very big no no.
Refer to this as it helps if you ever get confused, and don't worry, it helps me enormously.
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Chapter Two: there are a lot of times where you had wrote out the number instead of actually writing it out. For example; instead of writing "12," write out "twelve." It shows less laziness onto your work and that's exactly what you want to show readers. Again, I don't know why the stars are there, I'm pretty sure you're not writing steps on how to end the world, but hey, even Einstein was wrong. I notice as well that you aren't familiar as to were commas need to be placed. In you first paragraph you had the word "and" there but no comma before it.
Chapter Three: the thing that confuses me is at the end of the chapter, I can't distinguish the difference between your authors note and the actual story line. I like the photos you add into this chapter to give a little more imagery as to what's happening.
Characters : Rick; this was the only character I can distinguish properly and there's not much to say about him. I think the whole story was about him / his point of view, however, it was kind of hard to tell. He didn't really have emotions or anything as to what was happening so that's all I can say
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Make sure to do the payment ! If not, this will be taken down and your publicity will be gone.
