Raised From Hell

Chapter 5

Jace and I stay in the bathroom for a long time, just talking about random crap. I learn a lot of things about Jace, all the different ways he's changed. It's pretty hard to hear, because I know all the bad stuff is all my fault, not by choice obviously.

But the truth is I'm the reason his parents are dead, I'm the reason he uses women for sex to block his emotion, I'm the reason he puts on an asshat facade to stop people from getting too close to him. I'm the reason he is hurting.

Of course, I don't voice my thoughts, but in the back of my head I hear that nagging voice telling me to stay as far away from him as possible, I've already hurt him too much.

But I'm selfish and cruel and want at least one thing that will make me want to get up in the morning. And he's pretty much all I've got. So I ignore that voice and focus on the angelic one next to me telling me all about his life and new family.

While he talks I take the time to really look at him. His golden locks now reach the bottom of his ears are slightly curled at the end. I have a sudden urge to run my fingers through his hair, just to see if it feels as soft as it looks. But I resist. His complexion soft and golden. But what shocks me the most is the shape of his body. With his bulging biceps and his perfectly toned chest. He was fucking hot! That was for sure. Even with his few faults like his slightly chipped tooth, I thought it made him seem more sexy.

Just because he was my friend didn't mean I was freaking blind. He's towers of me though, I think to myself. Probably around 6, 3. Almost a foot taller than me! I can just imagine how small and pale I would look against him.

He catches me staring at him, but instead of saying anything he just stares right back at me. I notice the small flecks of gold in his irises which he inherited from his mother, the sharp curve of his cheekbones and defined jawline.

I itch to trace my fingers over his face. I notice his eyes drift towards my lips but quickly back to my eyes again. I can feel my pulse quicken. But before anything else happens the bell goes for lunch pulling me out of my trance and back to reality.

I take a sharp breath in as I suddenly pull back. I didn't even realize I had been moving forward, but apparently so. Jace, looking slightly dazed, clears his throat and starts to move to get up.

"We should probably head back Alec and Izzy are probably looking for me." He says reaching his hand down to help me up. I take it with a slight blush on my cheeks. "Wait, Izzy as in Simons girlfriend?" I ask slightly confused. "Yeah, that's my sister and Alec is her brother." He says. "How do you know Simon and Izzy?" Jace asks furrowing his brow.

"Well" I say as we start to walk out of the bathroom and to the cafeteria. "Simon is that uh 'friend' I was telling you about from Jouvi." I tell him once again blushing like crazy. "And I met Izzy this morning before class." "Oh" he says slightly wide eyed and with that same expression Izzy had earlier that day that I couldn't recognize.

I suddenly have a realization, "Wait is Alec the guy that took that sparkly man to the infirmary? What was his name again? Um… Mathew?… Ma… Magpie?" I ask trying to remember.
Jace starts bursting out laughing. "It's Magnus!" he exclaims. "Same thing!" I say.

We are still laughing when we walk into the cafeteria. Jace leads me to a table filled with some people I recognize and some I don't. I take a seat in between Simon and Jace.
"Hey Simon." I tell him. He has a weird look on his face. "Where were you?" he asks. "I was with Jace." I tell him.

But this obviously wasn't what he wanted to hear.

His eyes narrow and his jaw tightens. Simon gets up from his seat and ignores my questioning looks. He walks right up to Jace and taps him on the shoulder. Jace turns in his seat annoyed by the person interrupting his conversation with his brother.

"Simon what's…" but Simon interrupts him. "YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM CLARY!" he yells at him poking him in the chest, "Simon! What the hell are you doing!" I exclaim grabbing at his arm and pulling his away.

Simon turns to me his expression softening. "Trust me Clary you will thank me later, you don't know Jace…" he tells me but I cut him off "I know Jace a hell of a lot better than you do Simon. I don't need your protection." I say, my voice low with anger. My fists are clenched at my side. "Just back. Off." I tell him through clenched teeth.

Because he knows better than to mess with me when I'm like this Simon backs away and sits down. I turn to sit down myself not caring about the staring eyes of the entire cafeteria.

Everyone is silent for a minute before they start to eat again. "Wait. You're Clary?" a voice I don't recognize asks. I look up to meet a pair of dazzling blue eyes that could only belong to Alec. He sits across from Jace.

"Yep, that's me." I say going back to my yogurt I took from Simon when he wasn't paying attention. Out of the corner of my eye I see a wide eyed Alec turned to a slightly stunned Jace. Jace recovers long enough to give Alec a small silent nod.

Suddenly Alec is out of his seat and heading towards me. I watch him as he makes his way around the chairs and comes to stand next to me. He reaches out a hand for me to stand up and I accept. Suddenly his arms are wrapped round me as I am trapped in a tight bear hug. "Thank you, for what you did for Jace." He whispers in my ear.

I feel bile rise in my throat. I know he means well but it just makes that voice in the back of my head grow louder, tightens that guilty twist in my stomach.

When he pulls away I keep my eyes on the ground, "Trust me when I say it was the least I could do." I say in a small voice.

I finally lift my gaze to meet his eyes. As if silently telling him not to say anything else about it. He seems to understand, nodding his head to me as he walks back to his seat.

The rest of the day goes by pretty uneventfully. But it feels like this day will never end.

Straight after school I head to my new job at this small cafe called Java Jones. And start my 5 hour shift. Halfway through I have to take some medication just to stay awake.

But I manage to get through the whole shift without collapsing. So when I get home I'm so relieved to find my brother already gone to bed so I can just go straight to my own.