My Beautiful Mind

19.

Jamie and I discuss more details of the trip into Cymriath for the next half an hour. In that time, I learn his other creation is an assassin similar to Cordelia and Jonathan, but living in a mythical world of Holyinth where dragons fly wild in the skies. "Cymriath, and the land of Alemaeria aren't unlike his own home," Jamie says to me. I nod, my hopes this would all go smoothly slightly rising with the extra bodies on the ground. "Perhaps Wraethe and Cordelia will get along. She doesn't have the patience for most people, but maybe someone who can kill someone ten different ways without lifting so much as an arm she'll tolerate."

Suddenly, something deep within me tugs me towards the exit of the library. My legs protest at being folded into the wooden chair and ache to be in motion again. Jamie notices my furtive glances at the stairs, "One of them is calling for you," he rises from his seat and Will does the same, "We'll walk you down." They wait patiently by the stairs as I place The Bell Jar back on the shelf. When I return, Jamie lightly places a hand on the small of my back as we descend. Out of the corner of my eye, Will looks at the two of us with a knowing smirk on his face, a mysterious grin I'm about to inquire about until we reach the first floor and I spot Cordelia running a finger across the spines of books. Her blue eyes narrow in concentration as her mouth silently sounds out the titles. It's Will who's the first to get her attention.

"Do you come here often, sweetheart?" Cordelia quickly retracts her hand from the books. She widens her eyes at Jamie and Will who are by my side. Registering her surprise, my blood turns cold when I realize that I never told any of the girls about my childhood best friend, of my entire childhood for that matter. A rational part of my consciousness scolds me. What could you have been possibly afraid of telling them about Jamie? It asks. Everything, I reply, watching as Cordelia closely inspects Jamie and his interactions with me, trying to figure me out, trying to find my vulnerabilities, my weaknesses, my pain. I take a few steps away from Jamie and keep my gaze averted.

Thankfully, Cordelia turns to give Will a menacing glare. "How about you just fuck off," she snaps, looking at Will up and down with disgust. I'm not sure whether to be proud or horrified that Cordelia's learned that phrase–no doubt Adela's doing. Signing off his own death sentence, Will just grins and approaches the Hunter with arrogant confidence. "I'm one of Jamie's creations, New York, 1925" Will peers at Cordelia's usual leather boots, trousers, and loose shirt combination with confusion, trying to identify Cordelia's time period and place. She tosses her long French braid over her shoulder, "1875, England–if you truly couldn't already tell by the accent," she says in an exasperated tone.

Leaving the two at go at it, Jamie turns to me with a soft smile, "I assume that's the lovely Cordelia you've told me about." When I don't reply, Jamie notices my somber mood and drops his smile. He glances between Cordelia and I, "You didn't tell them about me?" I close my eyes briefly and shake my head, trying to rid myself of the horrors of the past. "Baby steps, Elin. They're not like them, not by a long shot," Jamie says fiercely, taking my hands in his. "Or else they'll have me, Will, and Wraethe to deal with." "I'll try," I say quietly, still not convinced. Jamie's eyes flash in anger of my pain and pinches his nose to calm himself down.

"The park the day after tomorrow?" He asks when he's composed. I nod, just as Cordelia slaps Will's hand away from her cheek. He briefly looks down at his shoes. "You have and always will be stronger than those monsters," he says quietly, the double meaning in his words not going unnoticed. Jamie touches my wrist, before striding over to clap Will's shoulder to get him to follow him out of the library. Will gives Cordelia an air kiss before joining Jamie. When they vanish through the doors, the tension between us increases tenfold as the elephant in the room can't be ignored.

*****

Once Cordelia comes to terms with the fact that she'll have to tolerate another person when we go find Elryian, she drags me into a café. "I will pay," she announces as we enter the quaint establishment, her voice steady and calm as if I hadn't kept information from her. When we get in line to order, Cordelia takes out a few bills. "I mean, Emy will pay," she clarifies. "And worry not, I will slip a few dollars into her pocket. She will not notice." I keep my head down and don't respond. When it's our turn I tell the barista my order: an iced chai latte. Cordelia orders an Earl Grey tea. After awkward silence waiting for our drinks, once they're done, we find a table by the window.