My Beautiful Mind

28.

"You have some whipped cream on your nose." My cheeks redden and grow hot as I frantically reach for a napkin. By the time I find one, Jamie's already wiped it off himself with an amused smile on his face. "Thanks," I say breathlessly, trying to hide behind the rim of my salted caramel hot chocolate. Jamie takes a sip of his own hot chocolate and then sets his mug down. With curious eyes, I watch as Jamie's fingers begin to tap on any surface they can reach–the table, the arm of his chair, the ceramic mug, the napkin holder–the same nervous gesture he's done at the library.

"When do you go back to college?" he asks, his fingers restlessly moving around. "January 25th," I reply as I set my mug down on the table. "It seems like a lot of time, but I have study abroad program applications to finally complete and send in," I continue, my mind running through all the requirements I have to make sure to get done. Jamie nods absentmindedly, as if the small talk served to only delay what he truly wanted to say. We sit in silence watching the people around us in the café come and go. Like always, my mind begins to wander. Even though it's only been a few days since I last saw the girls, I think of about what Mila, Cordelia, Adela, and Emy are doing right at this moment.

Whether or not Mila's chemotherapy sessions are going okay, whether or not Cordelia has successfully eliminated that target of hers in Oxford, whether or not Adela along with Alex have found their own apartment, whether or not Emy and her people have helped rebuild Cymriath and restore peace to Alemaeria.

But most of all, I think of about what Evan is doing right at this moment.

"Elin, t-there's s-something I-I h-have to tell y-you." Jamie's endearing stutter pulls me out of my thoughts. I blink rapidly as I return to the café and to the man sitting across from me. "Yes?" I ask, draining my mug of that yummy chocolatey liquid goodness. Jamie finishes his too before looking hesitantly at the people around us. "I think this is a conversation best had elsewhere," he says quietly. I raise an eyebrow, but grab my jacket draped behind my chair. We drop off our mugs in the dishwasher bin by the counter and exit the café into the sunny, yet chilly early January morning.

After leisurely walking in contented silence, Jamie and I approach the same corner of the lawn at the park where all of us convened to leave for Alemaeria. Jamie takes off his jacket and spreads it neatly over the frozen grass. I frown at his now exposed arms and chest clad in only a thin navy sweater. Jamie notices my concerned stare and reassuredly smiles, "I'm fine. In fact, I've never been warmer." We both make ourselves comfortable on the jacket–I bring my knees to my chest and rest my head on them, while Evan folds in his long legs in criss cross applesauce. Staring out across the lawn, I watch as a couple plays fetch with their Siberian Husky with a faint smile on my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Jamie shifting nervously and inching closer to me. He squeezes his eyes shut, steeling himself before opening his mouth–

"I like you too, Jamie." I say as I turn away from the couple and focus my undivided attention on him. I smile softly as Jamie blushes and lets out a breath in relief that the secret's out. "When did you find out?" he asks quietly, taking my hand in his. My heart warms at the memory of falling asleep together in London as we held each of our broken selves intact throughout the night. "You wanted to be held too," I whisper, staring at our entwined hands. Jamie lets out a shuddering breath and lifts our hands to his lips so he can press a loving kiss across my knuckles. "I love you," he says as I rest my head on his shoulder. Before I can start panicking at the word 'love' and the expectations and commitment it entails, Jamie brushes his lips on the crown of my head, "I've waited for two years, and I'll patiently wait for another two, another five, another ten, until you're ready." Tears spring into my eyes and the edges of my lips turn upwards. Even at twenty years old, Jamie remains just as attentive and accommodating to my needs after fifteen years.