Hate That I Love You (Book3) COMPLETED

•HATE THAT I LOVE YOU 20•

Sooo before I start.. let me take y'all back to the most iconic interview ever. Don't tell me you guys don't remember Jay admitting him and Bey did the dirty on Skype 😂

Well.. moving on 🙃🙃

Shawn's P.O.V:

I walked into the hospital room with my kids and saw Bey sitting up watching tv.

"Mommy!!" The kids spazzed and ran to her.

She smiled the brightest smile the world has seen and hugged them, kissing over them.

"Mommy, I'm so happy you are okay! Is the baby okay too?" Blue asked curiously.

"Yeah thank God," Beyoncé spoke for the first time. "Kids do you want to see your grandma, she is outside," Beyoncé said.

"G-maaa!" Ansel yelled and they both left the room.

If you are wondering Beyoncé and I had come to an agreement that we would let her mom see the kids as long as she didn't come with her husband or mentioned us to him.

"Hey," I said awkwardly as I scratched the back of my neck.

"Hello, Shawn," she spoke.

"How are you holding up?" I asked her cautiously.

"I'm good. I'm just wondering how you can be here smiling at my face knowing damn well what you did," she said angrily as she raised her eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"You sent divorce papers to my office! My blood pressure went up just thinking about it and I passed out hitting my head!"

"Divorce papers?! What are you talking about!?"

"The Manila folder!"

"What!? Did you open it?"

"I didn't have to I knew exactly what they were," she said wiping a stray tear.

"Well if you had opened it you would have known it was just your statement from Ansel's kidnapping so you could sign it," I said.

"You have got to be kidding me! Seriously?"

"Yeah.."

It was quiet for a few minutes, "Bey?"

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't do any of that or be so quick to give up on us without talking to you first," I said slowly.

"Shawn? Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like are you happy with yourself, are you okay?"

"I guess," I shrugged, "I'm happy I got to see my kids for the last time," I said with a half smile not really thinking.

"Last time?"

"Huh? Oh no I meant now that you will be discharged and all that," I said nervously.

"Shawn, I heard all of what you said yesterday. You didn't ruin my life, you gave me the four best gifts I could have asked for, my three kids, freedom, and love," She said touching my cheek.

"I cant help but think I did you wrong," I said honestly.

"But you didn't. You apologized and now you are in your better mind. I love you, I don't want to divorce you, I want you to come back to me, the real you," she said kissing my lips softly.

"Bey, I cheated on you, I beat you up, I broke you. And you still want me? This insane washed up cop? I got laid off until I got myself together, I don't have anything. "

"You have me and you have those two little rascals out there," she said.

"I don't know.."

"Shawn aren't you hot with that sweater?" She asked.

"Not really," I said getting ready to leave.

She gripped my arm and tried to pull me back, "Ouch."

"What?" She lifted the sleeve and gasped. "Shaw-"

"I have to go I'll pick the kids up later," I said exiting the room.

~~~~~
Beyoncé P.O.V:

"Mom!" I called.

"Yes?" She asked rushing in with the kids.

"Did you see Shawn?" I asked.

"Yeah he rushed out of here with his hoodie on, barely said goodbye to the kids," My mom confirmed.

"I'm worried about him and his health," I sighed as the kids drew on a small table in the room.

"Is he sick?" My mom asked confused.

"No, I'm scared about his mental health, I'm scared he'll do something regret."

"Like?"

"I think Shawn is going to kill himself," I sighed running my hands through my greasy hair.

"Do you want me to-"

"Mrs. Carter," the doctor said coming in the room, "Sorry to interrupt. I was just going to tell you that you can now be discharged."

"Thank you, Dr. Harry," I said and he nodded leaving.

-----

I grabbed the pen and begin writing:

Dear person who finds me,

I don't know who you may be. I'm done hearing the demons and trying to fight them off, I'll just do what they said and hope they'll leave me for once and for all.

Tell my children about me, I love them and they are the best thing that has happened to me. They loved me for who I was and no matter how many mistakes I made, I was like their superhero and that was worth more than anything.

Tell Beyoncé I loved her with my soul. I'm sorry for taking her for granted. I should have appreciated her and payed attention to her when I had the time.

Please name my unborn child after my father if it is a boy. That is my last dying wish. I'm sorry no one could save me. Thank you world, good night.

-Shawn Carter.

I put the paper down and grabbed the gun holding it up to my head. Just as I was about to pull the trigger someone opened the door.