Dear Lukas (NorFin)

June Thirtieth Nineteen Thirty Nine

Dear Lukas,

It's been two and a half months since the letter about your being MIA. I haven't sent a letter in three weeks. I received a letter from your battalion today checking up on my because of that lack of letters. Apparently they read them when they arrive, since your no longer there. They love reading about the drama that's going on at home, and about me and my happenings. They requested to be pen pals.

Our friends are right. They're right. Im in denial. Im not willing to let you go. I miss you too much.

Should I accept Berwald's request? I want to be happy again. I would go as far as to say I deserve to be happy again. I want to have a husband and a family and be happy. But I won't be content without you. Content and happy are not the same thing.

As for his children, how would they feel about me being married to their dad. Im not their mother, and I don't think I could ever replace her. I love them both so much. I want to be a mother so much. But is it what's best for them? Will they accept me as their mother? Penny and Erik are both still so small.

Should I move on immediately? How long should I wait? Should I give myself a few more years, or a few more months? What do I do now that I've accepted this....

I'm lost without you. I wish you hadn't went to that out post

Sincerely,
Tiina