demons | nash grier

chapter nineteen

"happy birthday nash!" hayes shouted, leaping onto my bed.

17.

"go away," i groaned into my pillow. after my 16th birthday i never thought i'd see my 17th birthday.

#happybirthdaynash was trending on twitter and of course everyone was posting edits or baby pictures of me, so i put on my best smile and posted a birthday selfie for them.

fan's point of view

nash seemed... off to say the least.

ever since that night arianna committed suicide in the hotel, nash just wasn't himself. fans who had stuck with him, like myself, since 2013 remembered when nash tried to jump off of the golden gate bridge in february. we knew nash was suicidal and we all felt hopeless because we couldn't be there for him like he was there for us. of course, if i had seen my significant other die in my arms, i'm sure i wouldn't be the same either.

he told me he was 'dandy' on december 7th - but i didn't believe him. i had been in this position a few months ago, and i knew he wasn't feeling dandy 8 days after being released for attempting suicide.

a girl named miranda aka espinosasbae had said she hooked up with nash in denver. people were skeptical until she posted a video of nash clearly asking for her number, and then another of nash walking slightly ahead of her and stopping at a hotel room, motioning her to come in. everyone was pissed at nash and miranda for awhile, until miranda tweeted that she only brought any of this up because she was worried about him. she had seen cuts on his arms, one in particular with stitches. when she asked him about it, nash kicked her out.

i typed out a dm to nash.

"i know you aren't okay."

i sent it before beginning to type more, but he replied before i could send it. my heart starting racing but then i read the message.

"i'm sorry." it read.

"why?" i replied, hoping he would keep a conversation and maybe open up to me.

"i know everyone is worried about me, there isn't anything to worry about"

"i know i should be someone y'all look up to but i'm not strong, hell i've tried 5 times now. don't look up to me. live for you"

i nearly started to cry. for one, nash had responded more than once. he was taking time to reply to me. also, he was confiding in me.

"we'll be here for you 😔" i responded.

"i've already made my choice, but i love all of you"

"NASH WHAT" i replied.

he didn't respond this time and i screesnshotted the dms and posted them.

everyone began to freak out. nash's name started to trend and people who didn't even like nash began to tweet him to stay strong.  we believed in him now but he was being stubborn.

nash

i had replied to a fan, nashgriers_ only to realize she was going to try to talk me out of my choice.

of course, what fan wouldn't?

i laughed, setting my phone down.

"nash, on new years we're going across the street to the daniels', and since you've been feeling better we're thinking about keeping you here to make sure hayes doesn't get into any trouble," my dad said.

"sure, we won't throw any parties," i tried to make it sound sarcastic, so it would seem even more believable that i was fine. my dad chuckled.

"happy birthday, son,"

he patted my back and walked away.

"nash what's up with twitter?" hayes busted into my room, pointing at his phone.

"i don't know."

"look." he ordered. i went onto twitter and my name was trending. nearly everyone was telling me that i was worth it, or that i had a purpose and that i saved them. i followed some people and tweeted a smiley face, followed by "i'm alright everyone, love y'all 😘"

hayes tweeted a picture with the caption "he's happy 😄" while i was looking at my screen and smiling a little at how much they cared. everyone seemed relieved.

thank god for damage control.