A light of my life [DD fanfiction]

Part 2 'The steps'

Few days later, Robert was walking home with Damien, and Lucien in his trolley. He was helping them, doing basic shopping and carrying bags.

'Look at him, oh my God.' Small laughed warmly to his new friend, observing little boy, fascinated with butterfly. He showed his big smile through pacifier, pulling out his hands.

'He tries to catch it! Haha, aww, sorry little guy, it's a little bit faster.' Robert was almost dying with laugher, when bug flew around Lucien's head and he was so distracted by that.

'Lucien, say „butterfly". Come on! Butterfly!' Robert tried to encourage Lucien to talk, but then, Damien shrugged.

'He is not talking yet.' he admits sadly, patting his son's head. Both men knew, it was right time for Lucien to start walking or talking. Well, everything he could currently say was „blghglblg". Robert looked at him with that „I know what you mean" expression.

'Living in stress is... destroying children. I know, Damien. I guess my child experienced that too.' he said finally, after long break.

'Ah, you say so?'

'Yup. Her mother used to yell so much. Val would start crying everytime, she heard her mother voice a little more up than normal. Imagine situation like this. I used to sit with her in the garden and she was trying to walk. She held my arm so damn tight, and with happy gurgling, she would stand on her own. Suddenly, her mother appeared and yelled at me for anything. Because I left something where it shouldn't be, or, as I said. Anything. Then, Val just collapsed on the ground and burst into tears, totally frightened. I felt so bad.' he told him everything, just when they stood in front of Damien's home. Bloodmarch smiled at him.

'Sometimes I wish I could protect her from everything, but... I didn't get a chance to. It was one night, and both disappeared.' Robert put bags in the kitchen and got back to Damien, sitting with Lucien on his lap. They shared painfull sight.

'I'm sorry for your loss, Robert. Is it good for you, when you take care of Lucien? You seem.. happy.' he asked, when Lucien pulled his hands to Robert, laughing at him.

'It's... fulfilling. I mean, how could you not feel fulfilled, having this tiny ball of happiness around?' Small took the baby from Damien and tickled him. As he saw them playing like this, he felt so calm and... he was just running away from daily problems. „Anything matters, when Lucien laughs" he thought.

***

Robert was coming very often, almost everyday. And so, he saw Damien changing. More and more, with every morning. It was completly mismerizing, he never saw something that amazing.

'Isn't that bad for you, when your hair is so long? I mean, you like it?' he asked once, when they sat in Robert's garden on the blanket, and Lucien was chewing his hand.

Damien grabbed few wisps and put them on his back.

'They are okay. I like them though. Lucien plays with them more than with his toys so... oh, and I guess, he got used to see me with long hair. If I cut them, he would be dissapointed or something.' he answered, patting his son's head.

'Are you sure, it's okay to subordinate your own look to your child?'

'I don't care about my appearance that much, Robert. It's not interrupting me in any way. So it's not a big deal I guess.' they talked for while. Then, Damien got up suddenly.

'I'm going to the kitchen, I will grab us some fruits. Just a moment!' he jumped a little bit and left Lucien with Robert, alone.

Small giggled, looking at Lucien.

'You are so curious about this whole, big world, aren't ya.' he asked, when boy was chaising a bee with his eyes. Then, he looked at Robert. Just like he knew, what he asked about.

Suddenly, Lucien grabbed his hands and started to lift up. Robert got a flashback; Val did the same thing.

'Woah, woah there, buddy... if your dad hears you scream, it will be the last time, I'm taking care of you...' he grabbed laughing Lucien by his tiny hips. He stood by his own and looked around with fascination. He started waving his hands, up and down, really fast, and doing small, very unstable steps.

'Holy sh... Damien!! Damien, your son just started walking!!!' Robert screamed. Damien was just getting back to them, and when he saw Lucien standing by his own, he almost dropped the plate with fruits. He walked up really fast and left the plate. He sat in little distance from Robert, on grass, and pulled his hands to Lucien.

'Come on, sweetheart! Come oon, there you go! You are genius!' he encouraged his son. Holding Robert's finger, he reached for his dad's hand. Holding both of them, Lucien made few steps to Damien, and with success, falled on his lap, smiling.

'I can't believe it.. my God, Robert! You just taught him how to walk, oh my- do you know what that means?!' he was sqeaking, seeing Lucien, struggling on the grass. He was probably touching it for very first time, and it was tickling his feet. It was just too amusing to watch it with straight face.

'W-What does it mean?'

'He trusts you so much, Rob. He trusts you, and he feels good, when you are around. I.. I just can't believe, he is walking.' Damien was actually struggling to answer. So many emotions at one moment, caused few tears of joy on his face. Robert pat his arm, slowly.

'Don't cry now. It's happy moment.' he smiled. His hand stayed at his arm. Damien wanted this hand to stay like this, forever?

In the evening, Robert walked these two back home. Asking Damien, if he should help him with Lucien, Bloodmarch denied. He said, he could do this on his own.

'Good night, folks.' he waved his hand at them. Damien waved back, and disappeared inside.

Going back, Robert had a moment for his thoughts.

He loved that thing in Damien. His excitement, and those feelings about Lucien's senses for good people. He didn't believed that.

Maybe if he really was good person, his wife would still be there? Val would still be there? They would be happy family now?

He probably should have thought about it, five years ago. When he could change something. Before it was too late.

***
Dear Lucien,
The day you started walking, was really special. It was the first step, to your independence. And the first time, I felt love to someone else than you. I have to admit it, I thought it's just a crush, as you use to say it, about Ernest. It turned out to be great feeling, after all. I feel bad for not having a camera, everytime you looked at Robert. I told you many times here, but it still stunts me.

Robert admit once, he thought, he saw the galaxy in your eyes. Before they changed to brown, just as mine. You just knew about him something, that I would probably never know.

You are so special, Lucien.