fix you; g.d

e i g h t

sirens blared through the neighborhood. people pilled outside onto the streets. the house was demolished. like my parents inside. i felt a shock of pain overcome me. not physical pain, no, emotionally. my heart felt empty. i looked to my side to see austin staring right back at me. her hand reached out to cup my face and i closed my eyes just taking in the mixture of feelings. she tiptoed and pressed her forehead against mines.

"hope grayson, just have a hope." she said quietly, just for the two of us to hear. i felt my cold face melt when her warm yet minty breath hit it and i held onto her wrist tightly, not thinking about whether i was hurting her or not. the second those words escaped her lips what seemed like paramedics and firefighters came rushing out of the house. the paramedics wheeling in two bodies. i felt my lips form into a small smile while my eyes began watering again. both my parents were carried into two separate ambulances.

+

my eyes filled with worry as i looked around the crowded waiting room. i examined all their faces, all filled with a sense of hopelessness, it's not fair. the situations people have to be put through, none of it is fair. i hesitantly sat down, gathering my hair in my hands and pulling it at the tips in a frustrated manner when i felt a warm hand on mines.

i looked to my left to find austin, the same amount of fear in her eyes and she hugged me for a few minutes straight, not saying a word or even looking at me, just letting me sink into her warmth— and it was that moment, that night, i felt something no one had ever made me feel before; yet, i still can't think of a word to describe it. it wasn't love, not yet. instead, it was like a speck of color was added to my black and white world. the way she held me, without an ounce of selfishness in it, that changed me. it's strange how someone can just walk into your life and make you wonder how you survived all these years without them.

i felt her fingers run through my tangled locks and gently brush through them before positioning me so that my head was resting on her lap. without a warning, she stood up, not giving me a chance to even think about what was happening. a nurse walked out of the doors that separated all the people here from their loved ones, a half-hearted smile plastered on his face as he walked up to austin who was now twiddling her thumbs. i stood up from the loveseat we'd previously been sitting on and straightened my body up just as the nurse was about to speak.

"let's get out of here," i suggested before the nurse reached us, she furrowed her eyebrows in response before i grasped her arm.

"i said i'd take you on an adventure now, let's go." i finished, leaving her speechless.

+

i moved my hands away from her eyes, allowing her a clear view of where we were. the look on her face face was enough to make me never want to go back home, she glanced at me before walking towards a rusty swing set; i quickly followed behind her, disguising my pain with a smile.

austin twisted the chains above her head, then let go and spun around in circles, her hair flying out in a perfect arc.

"gray i think we should go back." she said.

"i wish i could be more like you," i whispered pausing at the swing next to hers, ignoring what she'd said before. "you don't seem the tiniest bit freaked out by anything that happens. you don't ever even worry what people think of you."

"that's because i don't care what those tiny minds have to say about me." austin said, pumping her pointed toes to start swinging. "you know that. and you also know there's plenty of things i'm not calm about— like global warming, deforestation of the amazon, artic drilling, those are the things that rattle me." i sighed and dug my sneaker into the dirt.

austin, who'd been swinging fairly high, abruptly let go of the swing, spared through the air, and landed solidly, both feet planted firmly on the ground. i smiled, forgetting about all the problems in the world. now, she was my world.

[authors note; finally a fucking update]