The Runaway Chronicles

Chapter 2

C H A P T E R   T W O:
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I walked into the bathroom that my brother and I (sadly) shared, before running myself a hot bath.
I threw in a sparkly purple and blue Lush bath bomb before going back into my bedroom and changing into my fluffy turquoise robe and taking my hair down.
I grabbed my phone and my mini portable Bluetooth speaker and went back into the bathroom, taking off my robe and plummeting down into the bathtub.
I played my favourite playlist and put it on shuffle. I closed my eyes and began to tap my fingers to the beat on the side of the tub as Rum Rage by Sticky Fingers began to play.
I had royally fucked up.
I don't know how I am going to fix this, how I'm going to make it better. What if it doesn't get better? I've screwed up one too many times and something tells me that it's not going to be so easy to get off the hook this time.
Buzz.
I opened my left eye to see my phone screen had lit up, Ash's number appearing on the screen. I reached over and picked up my phone.
Ash: I have a plan, Sugar Plum.
Great... Asher with a plan. Asher's plans almost never go to "plan". I sighed before typing my response.
Me: What's the great idea this time big fella?
Almost instantly, my phone buzzed in my hand, nearly causing me to drop it into the water.
Ash: Ok. SO! Firstly, you get your @$$ over here pronto, and then we begin the preparation of exhibit A.
I internally groaned. He could never give it a break... there was never a dull second so long as Asher was around.
Me: What, you actually think my parents are going to let me through that front door...? I'm grounded!
Wow... I thought that even Asher would have just a little more common sense than that.
After a few minutes go by with no reply, I place my phone back onto the cabinet next to me before closing my eyes and sinking back down into the tub. I feel the warm water slowly flowing into and over every little crevice of my body. I take a huge breath and try to relax.
My phone begins to ring. I let out a small groan before sitting back up to answer it. An image of me and Asher back in winter flashes across my screen, along with his name.
"What is it, Ash?" I answer the phone to him tiredly.
"You don't think I haven't already figured this all out? Peyt... I have to admit, I am slightly offended! How little do you think of me?" He replies through the phone, pretending to be hurt.
"I think we've really done it this time Asher... there's no coming back from this one."
I'm grateful for Asher's hopefulness, but I think we've really pushed it this time... and I'm afraid there's no coming back from that this time around.
I hear him groan through the phone. I can tell he's thinking hard about what to say next, which is a shocker to be quiet frank, because Asher never has to process his words before he lets them leave his mouth.
"Peyton... hear me out. What would you think if I told you that there was a way that we could get away from all of this?" He asks me, his voice almost as low as a whisper.
"What do you mean Ash... elaborate." I ask him. I don't know what he's picking at here.
"What I mean is exactly what I said Peyt. What if I told you there was a way we could leave... get out of here and just disappear."
Now he really is talking crazy. What does he mean? It's times like these that make me wonder what goes through his head.
"Asher, we can't run away from our problems. We're growing up. We have to learn how to handle our mistakes like adults." I tell him.
"But that's just it Peyton! Don't you fucking see? We aren't adults... not yet, and if I can remember properly Peyt, I promised you. I promised you that no matter what, I've got you. I won't let you fall Peyt. I won't let you fall alone..." he remembered...
*Flashback*
We sit on the living room floor in front of the fire. Asher slowly puts his arm around my shoulder, trying to console me.
"You're not alone Peyton... You're not. I know you're hurting in there Peyt..." he tells me, before tapping my chest. "But I won't let you hurt anymore. I'll do whatever it takes. I know I can't change the past. I know I can't fix this. But I can fix you."
He grabs my face gently, forcing me to look at him. I look up into his stunning ocean blue eyes and I feel myself getting lost. He gently wipes under my eyes to stop the tears from flowing.
"Do you trust me Peyt?" he asks me quietly.
I merely nod, my lips quavering.
"Of course I trust you Ash. I trust you with my life..." I tell him, my words making the right corner of his lip slightly turn upright.
"Then let me promise you this. I promise you that you'll never be alone again... not for as long as I'm breathing. I promise I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe. I won't let you do this alone... not anymore. I'm here. But first, you have to let me in." He says in soft voice, holding me tightly to his chest as he strokes my hair.
He makes me feel secure... safe. He makes me feel at home. He is home.
*Flashback ends*
"Peyton, are you there..?" he asks.
I was in full thinking mode, I had forgotten that I was even on the phone to Ash.
"We'll figure this out." I whisper to him, starring at the wall.
I hang up the phone and close my eyes.
To me, this is more than just being rebellious and getting locked up... more than my parent's disappointment. Asher knows that. And I know I went and put this all on myself... I know I did. I knew it the time before this too. I've known it every god damned time. It doesn't stop me though.
I do it for the rush. I do it because it makes me feel alive. It makes me feel like I'm living and like I can breathe again.
I was in a dark place for a while. I think it was slowly killing me, piece by piece. Some days I don't notice it as much anymore, but then there are the other days.
I'm slowly getting better, I think. That is until something small chews me up and when it's done I'm kind of just back where I started.
I was diagnosed with depression and BPD (more commonly known as bipolar disorder) when I was fourteen years old. But BPD isn't exactly what people think it is. People think that if you have bipolar then you're just a plain psychopath, when in reality that's far from the truth. To be totally honest, I had thought the same until I was diagnosed with it and had doctors and councillors explain to me what it actually was.
BPD is when someone's brainwaves are never really level. Your emotions are all over the place. This is what causes people to so easily switch from being happy to sad etc. in the snap of a finger.
I was put on meds to help level out my brain. I was given these pills that were originally made for people who suffered from epilepsy because like I said, it levelled out the brainwaves. I started on two of these each night before bed and one each morning before gradually having to take 6 before bed and 2 in the mornings.
These pills did nothing for me but make me want to sleep and be alone, causing me to gain weight as well as making me feel even more depressed. I ended up refusing to take them and I've never been on any other medications or had any professional help since.
I just learnt how to deal with it, which as you can see, usually resulted in getting myself into trouble.
I got out of the bath before drying myself off and getting into my pyjamas.
I may as well have a nap. I have nothing better to do, I thought to myself.
I trudged sourly across the hall to my room.
"Ahhhh!" I screamed as my brother Charlie popped up from nowhere.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you Peyt! I was just going to ask if you wanted some company... maybe we could talk. I miss you ya know." He told me, punching me playfully in the shoulder.
"I was actually about to have a nap... I think you could kind of imagine the lack of sleep that would come with a concrete bench." I told him, humour lacing my voice.
"Well you know I'm here. The offer still stands Peyton, just come find me when you wake up. I'll probably be in the backroom." He tells me with a smile.
"Thank you Chuck, you know you mean a lot to me." I tell him.
He pulls me into a tight hug which feels like home.
"That's what big brothers are for. I just hope you aren't spiralling down again... I know what you're like Peyton, I don't think I can handle seeing it again. I love you too much you little gremlin" he tells me, patting my head and ruffling my already messy hair up.
I absolutely admire him, I don't think it would be possible to find a better big brother... even if he is just a day and a half older. Even though we have our share of sibling wars, he's always there when it counts, and I love him endlessly for that.
"Love you too" I tell him.
"Sleep tight little bug" he says as places a kiss on my forehead.
I hopped into bed, almost instantly falling into a deep slumber.