The Lemonade Fic

literally the whole story bc why not

(AN: hai so before you read this and idk why lmao its so random bc i was so bored and i came up with this crazy idea a few months ago and its just been sitting here so i was like why not post it. welp, here it is. enjoy, ig)

Hi, I'm Bob and I'm just a normal guy. Well, I was. Let me explain. So, I was walking down a random street when it dawned on me that I needed groceries. Being the person that I was, I went to the nearest fruit stand. Running the stand was a guy who seemed like he was really high, but I didn't care. The fruit seemed healthy and fresh, so I bought one of each kind. I even bought some of the craziest fruits that I have ever seen! The guy acted creepy when he smiled and said "Thanks for your business," in a quite disturbing tone. I checked the bag thoroughly for drugs or other unwanted items before I said "Thanks," and walked home.

When I opened up the bag, to my surprise, there was a hole in it, and most of the fruit slipped out. All that was left were seven kinds: An apple, a bag of grapes, a box of strawberries, a cantaloupe, some furry fruit called a rambutan, a kiwi, and a watermelon at the bottom, which must've stopped the fruit from falling out. I laid the fruits down on a paper towel, before turning around to grab a knife and prepare them, but when I turned around, four of them were gone. I prepared the rest of the fruits without a care in the world, and ate them. It was delicious.

I went back to the kitchen moments later, and the four fruits were on the counter, where I had left them earlier. Strange, right? What's more strange is when I tried to hold one but it just disappeared out of plain sight. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat back down on the couch where I was when I ate the rest of the fruits. Then, it hit me like a shopping cart. What if I find a way to finally eat the fruits without them disappearing? I grabbed my jacket and ran out the door. I think I forgot to close it, but whatever. No burglars or raccoons were in my house when I got back.

But anyways, so where I ran was to my friend Matt's house. He was a drummer in some awesome band, which I forgot what it was. He had some sort of magical thing in his basement, which could help me out with the fruits. I followed him down the stairs into the dark and petrifying room. The light was so dim I could hardly see. What I could see, however, were his drums. They had a word on it that seemed familiar. Whatever, but next to those was a large vault with an even larger lock on it. He entered a combo and asked me to help pull the lock off. So I did. It was the weight of an 8-foot kangaroo. Then he twisted the handle a specific number of times. I think it was seven, but I wasn't paying attention. I actually had my focus on those drums. Where have I seen that phrase before? Ex-term-inate, it read. I thought about that before a bright light gave illumination to the basement. Now I couldn't see anything. Matt took a hammer and broke a chunk off of what was inside the vault. He put it in a metal container and placed it in my right hand. "Transform those fruits, Bob." Those words seemed off, but okay! I run back to my house, through the open door, and find my way to the kitchen.

Before I opened the metal container, there was a note:

Bob,

I hope that you get to change the fruits. Good luck, man. You deserve it.

Change? Or did he mean eat? Oh well, I thought. Maybe he was drunk when he wrote the note. I didn't care. I still was so desperate to eat those damn fruits, so I followed the directions on the back of the note.

Prepare for the light. If you have sunglasses or something, put that shit on your eyeballs!

Use your glutes and open the container. It may be hard, but your a strong guy, so you'll be okay.