Swifting Sands (sequel)

Alfred

"NO I DO NOT WANT TO GO I LOOK FAT" Alfred screamed as he hid behind the drapery of the curtains that fell down on him eventually. Alice stood in front of him with her arms crossed and sighed, saying "Youre not fat Alfred"

"Youre just pregnant with like 3 ogre babies" Darcy said as she passed by, drinking out of a capri sun.

"Curse you and your future son"

"Wouldn't want me to curse your babies now, would you" Darcy mumbled as she smiled, taking her place on the sofa. She watched Toni and Prussia play play station, attacking an alien of some sort.

"It's just a maternity shoot"

"MATERNITY MY FOOT" Alfred screamed and spread out across the floor, his big belly wobbling as he moved. "I WANT BURGERS"

"Stop screaming, it'll affect the babies"

"I SHOULDN'T BE EVEN HAVING BABIES WHAT IS THIS STRANGE CONCEPT"

He suddenly stopped and placed a hand on his belly, a little smile on his face becoming wide slowly.

"I felt a kick"

With that everyone in the room ran to him and placed a hand on his gigantic belly.

"I dont feel anything" Prussia said, looking at his hairy belly.

"This is awkward" Alfred mumbled, blushing at all the physical contact.

"OOOOO I FEEL SOMETHING MOVING" Toni screamed excitedly.

"That's my crotch, and uh please remove your hand from there oh god"

".....Why is your baby there?"

"ANTONIO GET THE FUK OFF"

Toni scampered away and everyone backed away from Alfred's body. Ezra walked into the room.

"What is up my little tortilla babies"

"Hello ma" Darcy said as she gave her a wave, "Alfred wont get ready for his photoshoot"

"wHY ARE YOU GUYS BEING THIS SUPPORTIVE OF ME HAVING OGRE BABIES"

"we will always support you" Alice said with a smile.

"I WAS RAPED BY SHREK WOMAN"

"Yes and now youre bringing his children into this world"

"wHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS SUBJECT"

"I googled it and it said ogre females can be pregnant for about 5 to 8 months" Darcy informed everyone.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING GREEN VEGETABLE TO YOU"

"Aw, Alfred is a few weeks away from giving birth then!"

"DOES ANYONE EVEN CARE ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW"

"ohmygod i cant wait to see those little pudgers"

Alfred started crying. Alice slowly patted his back, and smiled "Its okay Alfred. Everything will be okay"

"IM NOT READY TO BE A PARENT"

"Its normal for some women to have -"

"IM NOT A FUCKING WOMAN YOU ALL NASTY LITTLE CUNTS"

"Alfred it will be okay" Dee said as she walked in holding a bag full of clothes, baby clothes.

"I HATE YOU ALL"

"Aright now lets get you ready" Alice said as she pulled him up, taking him away to his room to get him dressed.

"Oi, give me a turn" Dee said as she sat by toni, looking at the screen. Darcy's eyes flashed. A competitive aura filled the room and she screamed.

"wHAT THE FUCK DONT SCREAM" Prussia yelled as he handed her the room. Darcy took it, looked at it, and chucked it at Dee's head. "NOT THIS ONE"

"JESUS WOMAN YOU WANNA GO"

"oH GOOD LORD NOT ON TH-"

Too late, Darcy leapt forward and grabbed Dee's hair, pulling her close to her as Dee grabbed her neck and started strangling it. Prussia and toni were screaming as they got dragged into the little brawl.

"oh god i do not even want to be in this room anymore" Ezra said and looked around, "Where's Iggy?"

A little old man appreared out of under the couch and said "he is gone out with ludwig and vadel to get food for you porgannat frien"

"i see... who are you?"

"the challi wala..." with that he slipped back under. Ezra wanted to check how the fuck did she have an old man living under her couch but she was scared she might find other unusual crap hidden there.

Darcy punched Dee in the face and Dee growled, grabbing Tonis hand, using it to slap Darcy's face. Darcy gasped and Gilbert gulped, Darcy grabbed his hand and used it grab dee's hair.

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BUTTCHEEK"

"MY BUTTCHEEK IS BETTER THAN YOURS"

"DO NOT TALK SHIT ABOUT MY BUTTCHEK"

"I WILL TALK SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING I WANT"

Dee screamed and used Tonis hand to punch Darcys butt. Darcy shouted and punched tonis face, then Dee punched Gilberts face, and it went on.

Alfred came out of the room wearing a huge pink gown with his giant belly prodding out of it. The fight stopped and everyone gaped at the weird sight before them.

"Say a word and i will give birth on your bed" Alfred said threatened and walked out with Alice. As soon as he left, everyone bursted into large fits of laughter.