Swifting Sands (sequel)

The challi wala

Alice had to take responsibility for the diaper changing, and darcy and dee had to make sure the babies were never left un entertained. Vadel and Alice took care of the food and Erza was the godmother who brought home many gifts and clothes for the little slugs.
The men were useless.
Alfred gulped as he stood in front of shreks house. Gilbert pat him on the shoulder, reassuring him.
"He wont rape you again"
"What makes you say that" Alfred asked, sneering at him.
"I mean, he does have a lover now so.. im pretty sure his sexual desires are full filled rather well" Gilbert shrugged.
Alfred lowkey felt a little pang of jealousy.
"Lover?"
"Indeed" Gilbert smirked "Guess who?"
".... Fiona?"
"Hitler"
"oH" Alfred said as his eyes went wide. The door to the house opened and there the Austrian stood wearing a pink apron that said "kiss the cook 😘"
"Hallo" Hitler said as his nose twitched in a cute manner. Alfred pulled his lower lip in a little bit and said "eh, hello. Is Shrek home?"
"Ya. He is home. Who are you?"
"Tell him he is a father"
Hitler's piercing gaze went thru Alfreds skull as he glared at the blonde man. Gilbert felt the immense pressure and stepped back a little.
"Father?" Hitler questioned.
"Yes. Of three"
"I see. I shall get him then"
With that said he shut the door and Alfred let out a fart that he had to keep in the whole time.
"What the fuck is this universe"
Gilbert pulled up his shoulders and shook his hands in a weird manner. "I dont even know man, i mean look at that"
He pointed at the street opposite to the one they were on, and horses wearing suits were barbecuing some dolls. The challi wala glared at the sizzling hot dolls, hiding in a bush.
"Is that the challi wala?" Alfred asked, turning his body to look at the predator hunt its prey.
The challi wala let out a snort and hopped out, growling a little bit as white foam came out of his mouth. The horses screamed and ran. The challi wala started chasing them on his fours. Then he saw Alfred and Gilbert and let out a loud yowl.
"Oh the fuck not" Gilbert said as he grabbed a stick. "Go ahead and talk to shrek ill take care of this"
Alfred nodded and turned back to knock again. After 2 minutes and 34 seconds the door opened and shrek stood there. Hitler glared at Alfred standing not too far away.
"Its you" Shrek said, "what do you want?"
"Your a father now you piece of shit" Alfred spat in disgust. Shrek blinked and stared at the tiny man before him. Behind him the albino wrestled with the old man with rabies.
"Father? How is that even posssi-"
"DO NOT ASK ME OKAY" Alfred screamed "I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT FOR THE PAST 7 mONTHS AND I HAVE GROWN BOOBS. FUCKING BOOBS YOU GREEN VEGETABLE JUST BECAUSE OF YOU. IF ONLY YOU HADNT FUCKING RAPED ME MAYBE ID STILL HAVE MY SANITY"
Gilbert let out a scream and started running away from the challi wala who started having a weird spasm on the ground. His body started twisting and turning as he started screaming demonic shit. Gilbert stood far away, holding up a broken stick.
"Can i see your boobs?" Shrek asked.
".... yeah i cant see why not"
Alfred went in with Shrek and Gilbert ran around, trying to get the demonic old man with rabies off his back.