Something Beautiful

Something Beautiful Chp 3

                                                                   Delilahs Pov.

I woke up the next morning with a pounding in my head,a head from last night..Oh my gosh,whatve i done..I had completely stepped over the "Welcome Matt" of the space between me and james.He probably thinks im some physco brokenhearted chick!Ugh,i cant believe i did that..I sighed rubbing my eyes and turned over to look at him,he was gone..I smirked sitting up and looked around his room.His room was kinda dark grey,and had a white modern desk,with a white laptop,and a a few scattered papers around it,a small neat pencil holder in the corner.

I thought for a second,maybe it had some of his art (that is,if he even was into art?)on the table.I loved his cute little doodles,the one i had kept from the bookstore was still in my messanger bag.It was a doodle of a big oak tree,a wooden swing,the moon,and the swaying grass beneath.I admired it alot because i use to have a wooden swing when i was younger,and thats where i felt most free,and lively..and i missed it dearly..

I smiled and decided why not be alittle sneaky..I bit my lip gently getting off the bed,his covers were satin and cool,and soft..i could lay in that bed all day if i really wanted to i swear haha,but i decided id take the chance..I got up and tiptoed over to his desk,and looked through the papers.

Most of it was what seemed to be a bunch of writing,all in beautiful hand written cursive that made my own penmenship look like freaken crap!I pouted not interested and looked for the doodles..I found a small notepad underneath the pencil holder..I smiled taking it ,looked behind me,and looked at the first page.

This was his journal..I raised an eyebrow,guys keep journals?even I dont have a journal!or diary!I mean,i Tried having a diary at age 7 and i just couldnt do it,even at age 12 i was still too lazy.

I bit my lip climbing back into bed,i turned over incase he came to check on me,if he was still here,and started to read the first page.

Journal Entry 1.

I dont know what to put here to be entirely honest,my thoughts are condemned to most of the books ive been reading.The books ive borrowed from my uncles new bookstore,they seem to get my mind off everything that has recently happened.

Today I got my dads car,the funeral didnt do him justice,but the money was the main cause of that problem.I didnt write a speech at his funeral,but i did speak a few words,holding in every tear that threatened behind my eyes.Losing him is the hardest thing ive ever been force to go through in my life.Even at this age,i still dont know how ill grow up to be who i am meant to be,without him there to guide me.Without him to run to and have him tell me its going to be okay.Hes the only person on earth that can Feel the way i Feel.And Know what im feeling when i feel it.Everyone else is so,incredibly gullible that it makes me sick at societys stupidity.I suppose im simply rambling..but i think i deserve to.RIP Father.

I felt tears run down my cheeks,and wiped them quickly.

He had lost his dad?I frowned and decided to skip over to the most recent entry..if he updated often,maybe he mightve said something about me in here...

Journal Entry 18

Last night was..Different.Different then anything ive ever experienced in my life.Ive felt strong grief ,ive felt sadness,ive felt depression..ive felt all that category of broken heartedness...But Nothing like last night.This feeling,feeling of deep solitude Instantly washed over me when she pressed her skin on mine,it almost made me flinch i felt it so fast and so strongly.I almost said something,but when i looked down at the sad eyed,tiredly lost girl who had wrapped her arms around me,not caring who i was..not caring about my reaction..it made me stop and think.It made me feel calm..Ive never held anyone like that before,it was a unique different kind of feeling.And i already am finding myself missing it when writing this entry..Just the thought of when i looked down at her face ,her face was so delicately sad,and she had the type of long eyelashes that looked like shutters to her eyes.Her body had shook violently giving every tear she cried a whole new vastness.It made more tears spill out that harder she shook.The more she would shake,the more she would heave out her heart and created new and new tears.I felt my own heartbeat ache slightly causing me to wrapp my arms around her fragile figured shoulders.She was so broken,she needed someone,anyone..Even if she barely knew me,she instantly trusted me..Maybe this was because she saw a hint of trust in me,or maybe she didnt care who i was,but the fact that i was there at all..I felt a small sad smile on my lips and held her close to me as she slowly,but surely stopped shaking,and silently cryed until she couldnt any longer.She didnt realize from her lack of sleep,or her lack of awarness,but..