Coping with Bieber

Chapter 12: Day 21

It's been three weeks since the accident. Three weeks since Justin has been in a coma. Three weeks since we lost our baby girl.

The doctors have cleared me to roam my room and the hospital hallways. Though my left arm is in a sling, my leg has gotten much better. Even with my progressive recovery, Dr.Shouls, who has taken over both mine and Justin's charts, wants me to stay in the hospital for another week. He wants to run several other tests to make sure I have no permanent internal damage before fully releasing me.

"Alright young lady, ready for your first walk?" My nurse Jasmine smiles at me as she walks towards the bed.

I nod.

"How was your therapy today?" She asks as she reaches me.

I shrug.

"Sweetheart, you have barely spoken since your first day at the hospital. It is good to let all of those feelings out." She continues.

I look out the window.

"Close the curtains." I respond. The stupid nurse from before took it upon herself to open the blinds and let all of that murdurous light in.

"But some light is good. It helps serotonin levels-" she cuts herself off and clears her throat before going to shut the curtains.

My legs are now dangling from the side of the bed and I extend my arms for her to pull me up.

"I see that you didn't eat your breakfast." She pushes over the tray of food that has been sitting there since this morning.

"Is there anything special that you would like me to bring you? You need to eat."

"Food from the furthest place that you can get it." I bark.

She sighs and says no more before she leads me towards the hallway.

As we reach the hallway, we begin slowly walking.

We pass a man who is holding a bouquet of flowers. I overhear him asking if he is allowed to go in and see his wife though visiting hours are closed for the next hour. There is a small child holding his hand.

I stop in my tracks and look down at my stomach.

My eyes grow watery and I feel as if I am going to collapse.

Jasmine stops in front of me.

"Hey, hey. Eyes on me. Eyes on me." She says as she lifts my chin.

"I know you miss him. I know you miss her. But you need to push through this. You may hate me. You may hate everyone in this hospital. Scream at me. Push me. Do whatever you want as long as you do not give up." She says.

I look into her eyes and shake my head.

"Ok. Tell you what. Let's turn around and walk the opposite way. If we make it to the end of the hall, I will owe you one. Deal?" She holds my shoulders and I stay unresponsive.

"Come on." She says as we slowly turn around and keep walking.

My feet are dragging and my body wants to drop on the floor, being left to rot, but Jasmine continues pushing and walking until we reach the end of the hallway just a couple of doors down my room.

"We made it. I am proud of you." She smiles.

I do not care about any of this. Just leave me on my bed and go do your job is what I truly want to say but I can't find the strength to move my mouth.

"I said I would owe you one if you made it to the end of the hallway so here you are." She says as she puts her hand on the nob of the door to our right.

She opens the door and we slowly walk in.

He lies there unresponsive. Machines and tubes all around him. The heart monitor beeping slowly.

I walk closer to him until I reach the bed. Slowly reaching for his hand, tears slip from my eyes.

"Here's a chair. You only have a couple of minutes Estela. We cannot be caught in here." Jasmine says quietly and I nod.

The words cannot be formulated in my mouth but I know what I want to say.

Justin come back to me. I need you.