Coping with Bieber

Chapter 17: The Start Of Something New

After about an hour, I step outside for a much needed break. I was way off my game and I knew it had everything to do with the accident and nothing to do with the idea that I was not into dancing anymore. I felt my hands shaking and my heart racing as I rushed to the back yard to get some fresh air. No amount of cigarettes could take away this anxiety.

Once I get outside and see that there is nobody else occupying the space, I fall to my knees and begin to cry. I cried. Cried. Cried. And cried for an unsure amount of time before running my hands through my hair. This isn't fair. For the life of me, it isn't fair.

Trying to inhale and exhale, I search my thoughts for anything positive remaining in my life but all I can come across are the horrible last few months.

I shake my head and pound my fists against the ground just as rain begins to fall.

"You're going to get sick." I hear his voice coming from behind me.

"Good." I say as I stare at the ground.

"Let me in." He puts his arms around me and pulls me to his chest. I want to fight him off but the truth is that I can't. I cannot find the strength nor the will to tear myself away from him. From this man that changed my life, that put a life in me.

I lift my head and look into his eyes.

"I need a cigarette." I say to him and he looks at me.

He pulls out a pack from his pocket and a lighter from the other.

"This won't light if we continue to stand in the rain." He says as he gets up. I follow him as he walks into some coverage provided by the building that we were in.

"You smoke cigarettes now?" I ask him.

"So do you." He points out as he shifts on his feet. "And not just cigarettes." He says lowly.

"What do you mean?" I look at him as he lights his cigarette after he lights mine. He looks away and removes the cigarette from in between his lips.

"Other stuff too." He clarifies. "Don't you?" He looks over to me with a blank stare.

I shake my head. "Only alcohol." I say and he huffs.

"I tried that the first few days, didn't take away the pain." He looks away again as he sniffles.

"Who are you telling. You have no idea." I continue to smoke my cigarette.

"I do. She was my daughter as much as she was yours." He says abruptly and his words stung my heart like a bee.

He is right. She was his daughter.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He continues. "But we made her together. A part of me is missing too." He wipes tears from his eyes and then looks at me again, moving his hand to my face, wiping my tears as well.

He drops the majority of the cigarette to the ground and steps on it before pulling out a somewhat similarly rolled up brown replacement from his pocket.

Lighting it, he moves closer to me and sits on the edge of a window sill besides me.

"This works much better." He says as he draws it from his mouth and blows out a puff of smoke.

He offers it to me and without hesitation I take it from his hand, dropping my cigarette and stepping on it just as he did.

Inhaling its contents, I close my eyes and feel the burn in my throat before releasing the smoke into the moist air.

After a few more pulls, I feel a weight being lifted from my shoulders.

I look over at Justin and see his red eyes, now more peaceful than before.

Leaning my head on his shoulder, our hands intertwine.

This was the start of something new.

End of Chapter.

***

Surprise! We just hit 200 reads so I decided to write an additional (short) chapter for the night. Thank you so much for those of you who have continued reading this story throughout time. I appreciate you guys!

Disclaimer: I really loved writing this chapter. I ship Justin and Estela so hard (obviously!)

Let me know your thoughts, your words and feedback mean a lot to me as I write. Please don't forget to vote and comment.